I remember wondering what that may mean and I found myself transported to when I was five years old, feeling the openness and the sense of urgency to discover everything around me. Living in the absolute conviction that everything was just fine the way it was. Opening my eyes wide and trying to drink the world in. Feeling the trusting delight of sharing my heart and innocence with whoever was put in front of me.
Life is now sending me into a happy period. I have met a man I like who responds to me, let alone the fact that he actually likes me and wants to be with me. I find myself smiling on 3rd Avenue, then again around Grand Central, and again in Penn Station.
I notice my distractions at the Whole Foods, and the irreverent forgetting my bag at Starbucks when I meet my friend for tea.
My tremendous capacity for happiness suddenly re-awakened, brought back from the remote past. And I wonder: is it OK to utter such words?. Is it really safe to say that one is happy in this world? in this economy? even though Guruji passed away? even though I don't have a job? in New York city?
Is talking about being happy a taboo?
I listen closely to conversations around me. I hear people talk about "hanging in there", I hear myself saying that "I am putting one foot in front of the other", some go as far as to say that they are "trusting the divine", but when was the last time you heard someone saying, plain and simple, with the openess of a five year old: "I am happy"?
Well, I am.
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