Backbend progress January 2010

I know, I need to get the tripod downstairs when I shoot the progress...AND frame it properly, bare with me, I am learning too.

As per the dropbacks commitment for 2010, I have to say it is not really working the way I thought it would, mostly because at the shala they get me to drop back assisted every time, and they come quickly, so I don't have much time to "play" so to speak... I still hope to be able to drop back by the end of the year, just not sure it might happen in two months as I originally planned.

But, for the time being here is the drop back progress. At 0:21 I attempt to walk the hands by a bout a millimeter... I call that progress.


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Satuday practice

Saturday... no practice, no Pradipika, no oils, just rest, for once.

My friend Tina showed me this video. It's beautiful, such coordination, such delicate balance, it is almost yogic ...  I loved it


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Oh Advil, thou are the greatest!

I finally found out what happened to Monday practice,  I had a cold.

I cannot do these warming practices (like the oil one) in the winter it seems, because I risk getting a bad cold.  Bindy and I were talking over comments and I believe I arrived at the same conclusion she has, which is that some of these practices may apply in India, where the temperatures are mostly 80 degrees, but in the mid frigid NY winter, perhaps it is not such a good idea to get all the heat to come out of your head (as in the castor oil effect), and then venture into 0 degree weather... kind of makes sense...

So, on Monday everything was beginning to ache hence the WTF story,  on Tuesday I slept until noon,  could not move, on Wednesday I went to practice if that can be called a practice, it was pathetic...

BUT...

.... on THURSDAY....

....I took ADVIL.

Aha!

Let me tell you, now I see why people say this stuff is dangerous,  IT IS.  My practice was absolutely fantastic, nothing, and I mean NOTHING hurt, even though my head was still dizzy, the muscles just worked. Dropping back?  other than the fear issue which Advil still does not fix, no problem!

Enjoy responsibly.

Happy moon day
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Help! my "fight or flight" is out of sync

I grew up during the military government of Argentina in the 70s'  and that meant that at age 10 I realized that the one patriarchal institution I had faith on (the government), had secretly been torturing people for no reason at all, other than to extract names of others who may be against them...  people named people just to get out of it, and the cycle kept on repeating.  My family was lucky not to be named, perhaps due to the unusual last name we have, which means blue.

This did not stop at adults, children were also taken from families, never to be returned.
Picture

You can imagine what this incident did to my trust in men...  but I digress

One thing I know is that I took the events of back then very personally, especially when I started watching movies with full blown dramatizations of what was going on, at age 11 or 12, probably something I should have not done, but my parents had their own issues to deal with and never knew.

All of this brought me up in a spirit of a very unsafe world, and I noticed today, I have been running away from things most of my life.  As soon as things get a little uncomfortable I feel like I will be tortured.  Out of proportion? you think?

How does this relate to yoga, you may rightfully ask?  very much so, I actually have the fight or flight internalized in my body to the point in which it gives me adrenaline shots, intense shots, powerful ones. This is my body's attempt to tell me "get out of there".  It did it in kurmasana for years, and if I am not  careful it can still do it, and now, it is doing it in the attempt drop backs.

As I stretch my front and open my back (big sign of trust?), I get shots!

The way I am dealing with it is by talking to myself, saying to me (or the little me in me): "it's ok, it is just yoga", and breathing deeply.

Do you get adrenaline shots? how do you deal with fear?
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The Artist Way

I read Julia Cameron's The Artist Way for the first time in 2003, and right away I took to writing those morning pages.  I have to say that writing in the morning with no judgement, just letting anything come out in any way it wants to is liberating, freeing.

The book makes a simple premise for getting unblocked and restarting the creative motor.  She suggests one artist date a week, a walk every day, and writing morning pages.  she then has twelve weeks of assignments or "recoveries".

Julia was in AA for years, and the language of the program spills into her books. Chapters are all about recovering a sense of something: Safety, Identity, Power, Integrity, Possibility.

I only ventured further than the morning pages and started the 12 week program last year.  September seems to be the month that turns me within, the cold weather pointing into the spirit direction. Writing being the bridge that takes me there.   Six weeks into it I went to visit family in a two week adventure that drove me away from the program, however, my blog writing came back, creativity slowly re-entering, I began to flow again.

I suppose it would probably be easier to go through the program in a group, she has designed guidelines so anyone can lead a 12 week art recovery circle, here is a list of some of them. There are also online forums, AND she runs the program herself once or twice a year at the NY Open Center, next one is in February.

Have you done this program?
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WTF, what was that?

By that, of course, I mean: Where're Thou Flexibility, what was that?. What did you think?

What happened to my Monday practice?  It was raining in NY, and we had a surprising 50 degree day in January, was it the change in temperature?   rainy, humid days, usually throw me off... let me describe the practice for you:

• Stamina was out the window
• Flexibility comparable to that of Dick Cheney (or the version in my mind of how he would do in a yoga class).  I just searched his wiki page and not a trace of the word yoga so I'm probably on target.
• Thoughts were NOT helping, and mostly focused on how advanced everyone was but me
• knees did NOT work at all, EVER
• I could not even get in lotus OR on mari d because my right knee (meniscus-less) refused to get into the pose, it just was not going to do it.
• Backbends,  what backbends?

I just did not know what to do with myself.  I thought it was probably a great opportunity to practice detachment, and humility.  I fancied myself a "real" yogi who did not much care about the body after all, other than as a "tool".  That did not help either because, come to think of it, that is just the opposite side of the same coin.

Some days, are just like that I suppose. I am going to get my bottom into the meditation cushion.

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Castor Oil Bath

Last Saturday I tried the Castor Oil bath, also known as "Saturday Practice". I've been talking about it in my Spanish blog, and realized it is time to bring it back into the mix of my ashtanga journey.

Kimberly Flynn wrote an excellent article on the whys and benefits of it.

This time I did it the way it is supposed to be done, rubbing the oil even in the scalp!.  I had feared doing this before as I thought it probably would never come out. But it did.

So on Saturday morning I spent 15 minutes in savasana completely covered in the oil, and then took a bath.  I have to say that it does have a tremendous effect on me, every time I take one of these I feel different, read better, in the next practice.

For example, on Sunday I felt that my muscles were gaining heat much faster than usual and flexibility was outstanding.  But what I like the most is the effect on my knees which usually hurt me (I don't have meniscus-es, as they were removed on two operations).  They did not hurt.

I heard people say you need to be careful after a castor oil bath because it is tempting to go further riding the pain-less wave.  So I took it easy.  All in all a great practice.

Up above you can see the oil I use, back when I started this practice I could only get it a Whole Foods but now it is much easier to get it shipped.  Most importantly I have found that the Castle soap  is the best to 
remove the grease.

How often to do you do this? if at all...
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Zee

Zee is a profile-less fellow on the blogosphere who made a comment about my post "How to die-four tips" last year. 


I am grateful for comments like this, even though he did not leave it here, rather at Boodiba's... because, in his own words:  "...She s is my friend so I use her blog to give you the comment.  Zee urges me to change my point of view:  Claudia, change your point of view!!!


He then gives a beautiful account of how he experiences the "I am" that we all are.  I wanted to share it because I have to admit it has left me wondering for weeks. I am editing for space purposes.

The first question you have to ask yourself is: Who has to die? Is there any entity inside you that is able to die? Yoga sutras can not really help you there. You have to do your search, yourself....In order to find the answer you need contemplation and meditation...

...This investigation leads to definite knowledge that “You Are” is permanent whereas the person is temporary...

...Now, you have to see and recognize what “You Are” is.  “I am”, “I am”, “I am” goes on indefinitely yes, that is the OM sound... 


...Maintain That state until there is no sense of “I” left. That is your Self. The beauty of realization of the Self by the Self is that it is natural growth of Being Aware; it is complete unification with something that has no name. It is the highest form of liberation of the wrong ideas. There is no one to die.


I really appreciate Zee's efforts, even though he specifically asked me NOT to thank him.  The only thing with it is that as beautiful as all of this sounds, without the experience, without that "je nais se quoi" it becomes just words.  I wish I could have a glimpse of the real experience, you know what I mean?  


I suppose I understand why is it that the teachers in the Upanishads realized that there was no way to put the beauty of seeing clearly in words,  and they could only attempt to, they "had to try".


Metaphors seem to work better for me, for example, the relation to the Titanic and the Upanishads caused a long lasting impression.


I hope Zee reads this and tells me a good metaphor  :)


picture credit
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Why rest on moon days

The other day I met a friend of BF, and it was a pleasure to find out he reads my blog, you know? one of those feel good moments. He asked me how many times a week do I practice yoga and I gave him the polished short answer

6x/week (no Saturdays), and also no full or new moon.

As soon as I said those words I wondered what effect would those words have on someone hearing them for the first time, especially the moon days part...

My short explanation is that the full moon is like the end of an inhale when we are full, at the maximun of our intake possibilities (and why we might usually fill more rounded or "fat").  Then "prana" (life sustaining force) is at its peak. Then we take a rest.

The new moon is like the end of an exhale, where we rest... empty, with nothing within us, the quality of "apana"(elimination) rulling.

This is what Tim Miller has to say about it,  it is interesting how he links it to the fact that we are 70% water, and just like any other body of water (oceans), we are affected by the position of both sun and moon.

But what I am really impressed about, with this "moon" business, is the linking to pranayama, the relation to a "breathing cycle".  It seems to me that the rest is like a retention, and in pranayama, it is in the retention that the illumination happens.

Music is made in the silences between the notes. Quiet moments, are an integral part of any creation.

I happen to look forward to the moon days, I enjoy the rest and always welcome it, but I know that many people do not.  Sometimes I wonder why is it that so many practitioners want to push through and not rest, I wonder if it has to do with their motivations, or if skipping practice is just not an option for their well being.  I respect them, as I understand that everyone is different, but as per me, I like the silence.

Do you practice on moon days?

Grimmly published one of Ramaswami's newsletters where Eddie Stern explains what Guruji told him about the resting days, you can read more here.

Here is a list of the 2010 moons

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3 things I liked about the book: Moola Bandha

Moola means Root  Bandha means Lock.  For those of you who do not practice Ashtanga, we, ashtangis, contract the area of the perinemum as we do our morning practice.

Reading Swami Budhananda's book I find several things that entice me to learn more.  One of them has actually nothing to do with the book and comes from a reviewer at amazon who says that Buddhananda is a former physician and psychiatrist whom, tired of the shortcommings of western medicine, embarked on the yogic path.  Granted there is no wiki page on this swami so I cannot corroborate that.

These are some of the things I liked about the book

1. - The interaction of the physical and the psychic part of the effects of Moola bandha:

"... It is not just the contractoin of the perineal body/cervix but also the "locking" contraction of the mooladhara chakra"

Chakras are part of the "subtle" body, things that can only be seen with the "third eye".

"... It has a subtle yet powerful effect on the psychic body, acting as trigger for the awakening of mooladhara... on so doing... prepares one for spiritual awakening"

2. - The list of physical benefits of practicing this, and other bandhas, among others:

• Harmonizes the endocrine system (responsible for the glands that regulate our system)
• lower respiration rate inducing calmness and relaxation
• Reduction in blood pressure
• slower heart rate
• Alpha brainwave production
• Toning of the digestive system 

3. - The far reaching psychotherapeutic effects:

"... Moola Bandha is a mental purgative, releasing the subconscious and unconscious mind of suppressed anxieties and hidden mental blocks beyond the consciousness, yet causing difficulties in life"

It seems then that moola bandha has a whole range of benefits  beyond the promised land of inviting the kundalini energy to reach up and get us enlightened.  Along the way, on the cleansing and purifying it helps to get us healthy and mentally clear.
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A question for you: To Handstand or not to Handstand

I spent most of my childhood in Handstand.  I love the pose, it makes me feel like a monkey of sorts, and I very much appreciate the momentum of getting into it.  It is also really cool.

Over the years I have heard people talk about weather it is OK, or not OK to practice it within the context of the first series of Ashtanga.   One of my teachers was all for me practicing them right before the bridge and the attempts at dropping back.  I liked that.  However a few others (all the other ones actually) were set on telling me that it interferes with the opening of the chest and the drop backs.

Now, granted, I do not have all the ashtanga books, but I have a few, and I cannot find one mention of weather it is good or not.  Matter of fact cannot find one mention of the asana at all, not for primary or intermediate (looked at Swenson and Mahele).   I also did some searches on the web, and found nothing.  So I turned to the volume II of the Key Muscles of Hatha Yoga.

The handstand opening paragraph says (I translate from my Spanish version of the book)  that this posture strengthens the muscles in the shoulder and arms, and it also enhances the shoulder joints stability.  He says that it also has beneficial effects on the cardiovascular and nervous system.

How could this interfere with opening the chest?

Does anyone out there know why is it that some teachers are so set against the practice of handstand until something like the end of the second series?

The picture comes from absoluteashtanga.com
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The new guru

Gurus these days cannot be the same way as in the times of, say, Sivananda, the world is a different oyster.  Remember that the word guru means "he or she that leads us from the darkness to the light" (or you can get the wiki version), so seen like this, it is any teacher that is helping us become closer to spirit, to the "one" we all are.

I noticed some of the ones I follow, which I consider modern gurus or teachers of different traditions, and made a list of what they do differently these days,  here is what I came up with:

THE NEW GURU:

• Is available, responds to questions from readers through forums or bulleting boards online  (of course he does not have time to respond to everyone, but he or she tries)
• Has a website
• Blogs at least 3 times a week
• Shares the iluminations she/he gets throughout the day in Twitter
• Has a facebook fan page, or not
• Travels teaching
• Directs traffic to websites that help when natural disasters strike so that people will focus their energy where needed
• Is a bit of a Robbin Hood.  Conducts fund-raising events among his or her famous friends to gather resources for those who need them
• Lives well, but only with things he or she needs, uses the money that flows through her or him efficiently
• Publishes books, Cds, dvds, gives videoconferences, streaming video, etc.  

What am I missing, what do you see modern gurus doing?
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Advertising Lines I Digg

The Buddha was the first Senior Marketing VP in history,  consider his line "Don' believe a word I say, rather, if you want to, try it for yourself and see if it is useful for you",  I know, I am paraphrasing, he probably did not say it with those words, but he did mean that...  Don't you kind of "want to" give it a try now?

This website claims that what he really said was:  "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense".  I still like my version better and who is to say...


A modern line I really like, says: "Don't just do something, sit there!"   you gotta love that one.

One I always loved was the "Just Do It".  Genius.  But this one was once taken to a whole new realm at a workshop in which somebody wrote this:

Do not resist chances, take them like vitamins

Let go of the breaks

Don't worry about the bombs and the bruises

You can take them

Don't steer around what scares you

Go under go over go around or go through

Do something others would be terrified of

You will feel your chin rise up from your chest

And there will be one less thing you cannot do

Just fricking do it

And I have to say, one that gets me going pretty much every day is "Do your practice and all is coming",  I have a lot of fun changing the meaning of what "all" can stand for...

Do you have any short lines that inspire you, which one?

picture credit

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Myss defies gravity by bringing back the good old prayer

Browsing through Barnes and Noble this morning  I came across Carolyn Myss' latest book: Defy Gravity.

The book builds on her previous work with Teresa De Avila. Caroline had three seizures during the year she was writing that book, Entering the Castle, which is also what happened to Teresa as she traveled the different rooms of the interior castle, or spirit  (Teresa De Avila wrote the book The Interior Castle in 1577, not exactly a good time for a woman to be talking spirit).

Anyway, I always liked Caroline, she has a very definite and down to earth tone.  In this book she talks about the power of prayer in order to heal  and she goes over some spontaneous healing that happened at her talks since the time she wrote Entering the Castle.

I believe in prayer, it has saved me more than once, and I feel it is one of the tools our society sadly lacks.  Of course she is not talking about praying in a wish-washy mode,  she clearly warns:

"...but you must simultaneously do what is called from within, that is, forgive the past, accept what cannot be changed, relinquish any personal agenda for how your healing should unfold, and be present to your life as it is right now"

She also asks that when required we visit a doctor.

The issue of prayer keeps on appearing for me.  I remember a time when I could not let go of something that I perceived as very important to me, and that in retrospect it was not.  Reading the book Illuminata, by Marianne Williamson, helped me let go.  In it, she has a collection of prayers, for different things, some very concrete, like:
For when we have been betrayed
for sexual violation
for myself
for achievement
for the world

Do you pray?  do you write your own prayers? do they help?
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16 glasses of salty water hmmmm

After lots of preparations, we (BF and I) embarked on the ancient practice of Shanka Prakshalana, which clears all channels between the throat and the anus.  Drinking the 16 glasses of salty water was unexpectedly easier than I thought it would be,  and I appreciated the break every two glasses and the asanas (yoga postures).




Here is a recount of what I was feeling:

First four glasses:  Nothing much really, just an opening
Fifth and Six:  Wow! nothing is happening AT ALL
Seventh/Eight: Blotted, sleepy and going within
Ninth/Tenth: Things are moving, flowing, running to the bathroom....
Eleven/Twelve:   WOW! flowing, and my gut is making all sorts of noises
Thirteen/Fourtheen:  flow continues, and I begin to feel really thirsty
Fifteen Sixteen:  just flowing

All in all a very clearing experience, after which I was very thirsty (maybe because of so much salt)

A challenge for me was to do nothing all day afterwards, no reading, no computers, no going outside, and eating only the Khichdi, which tastes delicious by the way.  The 45 minute savasana without falling asleep was also surprisingly easy.

We bought organic, non-syrupy grape juice as I was not ready to prepare the solution suggested that involves boiling so many different juices.

Today in practice I thought I would feel light, and I suppose I did, but I also felt very tight.  The effects of these practices are felt over time... we shall see, I will blog updates.
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Seven ways to heal from depression

In 2004 I found myself down there, blue, hopeless, exhausted, disoriented.  I was so desperate I almost entertained "those" kinds of thoughts, so much so that I went as far as to contact Wayne Dyer at Hayhouseradio hoping to talk to him on the air, live, and to my surprise I got in.  Number one is what he said to me:


1. Get out of your mind and go help someone.   Today there are people who need your help, down the hallway for example, someone in your office may need a sounding board to talk to, or a charity might put some money to good use, or your local volunteering organization may need someone to help feed the elderly on a Saturday morning.

But it does not have to be so fancy, you could also call that friend you know who is going through a rough time but been avoiding and say hello, offer a "conversation space". You may think you will be helping someone, but in truth you will be helping yourself, it works.

2. Check nutrition.  Lots of sugar? Lots of coffee? No water? No wonder!. Just for a week try and drink more water, ease in on the caffeine, eat more greens (spinach salad with Flax seed oil), and also look for supplements that will help you.  For example, in the movie "Food Matters" alternative (out of the box) doctors talk of a girl who was completely depressed to the point of never leaving her room.  They started giving her high doses of Niacin (B-3 picture left) and all of a sudden she started talking to her family and even eating with them.  Then other doctors, perhaps more established doctors (I take this with a grain of salt as the movie is a bit of a social protest) told her not to do that, and back to her corner she went.

By all means, always talk to a doctor, but also listen to your body. Make sure you are eating fruits, "all the colors of the rainbow" as is said.  No more bagels in the morning,  no more eggs and fries, change it for real nutrition for your body.

Other supplements that help me with lifting moods are SAM-e, DHA, B-complexes, Spirulina (to get those greens).

3. Meditate.  Consider the picture below.  It is by an organization called Cure Together that gathers data from a community with similar symptoms and analyzes results, they have been working on this with 944 people for over 2 years. Meditation is in the popular and effective quadrant!  Here are 7 things I wish someone had told me before I started meditating, but basically, whenever it is possible, turn your mind to blank, let the thoughts go and just focus on the breath.   Pretend you are a scientist that needs to put 100% concentration for a few minutes into the breath as if the survival of the world depended on it.  It does.  Thoughts will pop up, acknowledge them and let them go.  If you are daring and blessed to have a few days consider attending a free Vipassana course, they are very effective and attending one has actually transformed me for the better, they are also all over the world..  If you do not have 10 days then consider attending a Shambhala retreat, they have light introductory courses with wonderful results and they have centers throughout North America.

4. Rest.  Use Sunday afternoon for a nap, and Tuesday evening too.  And Saturday morning as well. Yes, you deserve it.  Practicing "ahimsha" (non-violence) towards ourselves is perhaps the most difficult challenge of a yogi, recognizing when we are tired, giving ourselves space to slow down, these are not just vital necesities, they are also tests to our ability to surrender, to live a yogic life.  Of course we exercise discrimination but we also pay attention to when the body needs rest, and respect that.

5.  Wear a rubber band around your wrist for one week.  Whenever you hear yourself complaining hit yourself really hard with it.  The body learns quickly,  let it help you.  Complaining is a dark energy that keeps dragging us down, it procreates quickly and tints the world in fearsome shades, I wrote about it because I believe bringing complaining to a stop is a major achievement, here are 8 reasons why you and I should just stop it.

6. Get some sunlight.  Do it, go for a walk, see the sun, or nature, connect with it.  Sunlight is in the "surprisingly effective" category in the chart up there, give it a chance

7. do your yoga. Iyengar is known for saying that if you expose your armpits to fresh air every day you will not get depressed.  I know I do cause yoga does that for me, but yoga does a lot more things, it gets the blood circulating and the breath going deeper. Exercise is a mood lifter, give it a chance.  If you don't know what yoga to start with consider these seven options.

A good read to accompany on the journey to health is Yoga for Depression.  Amy is a good writer who has been there, she is a teacher in the tradition of Kripalu.

(foto credits sad egg, and happy egg)

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Practice and moving, or not

Today I practiced after three days  of ladies holidays plus moon "a la our Shala" (usually a day before the rest of the world, hence there was practice today Friday).  I was beginning to lose it without practice,  I don't think I could ever stop, which is a good thing.

BF and I have been looking at apartments in NYC.  The lease is up, so it was time to look.  I was surprised at what we saw, some were very big, but had no light.  One of them in particular felt like a country house, with more closets than I could count.  But across the street there was a full office building looking right into our living room.  Did not like it.

Another one was in a brand new building, The Setai.  The real estate person told us that it has won awards, last year The Plaza, this year... them!   But the apartments were very dark, and every room had funny corners which any feng sui expert would not want to even look at.  On top of things the floor was almost black,  how come a designer would put black floors on an already lacking in light sort of room?

In the end we will stay in our apartment, which is sunny, and spacious, no sharp corners, and the floors are light.  I am happy, and also quite happy to come back to practice.
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Pema Chodron re-appears in my life

I subscribe to More (the magazine that celebrates women over 40), so I was surprised  when my friend from Toronto sent me, as a present, the same issue I thought I had at home, but was it? something looked odd, yes, it was the picture of Sigourney Weaver, the same dress, but different pose...  hmmm

That was not the only difference. The Canadian version also had a full article on Pema Chodron, which I do not remember seeing on the american magazine... how sneaky.

My first real impression of Pema was one of truthfulness. The way she describes finding out that her husband cheated on her and then throwing her cup of coffee at him is so real, so visceral, so human.  I related instantly. Then of course I read "start where you are"  and "the places that scare you",  books that are "useful".

This is a 1:11 minute video of Pema, talking about 9/11

I remember during a long unhappy time of my life when I thought perhaps leaving for the woods was the only exit, I considered joining her three year retreat, up in Gampo Abbey, in the far, distant lands of Nova Scotia.

Can you believe that people actually go away for three years?   I found out (from a woman that was helping me when I did a solitary retreat in Vermont) that they only do something like six months per year, and the other six months they are supposed to be in the world.  But in the six months when they are in they meditate ALL THE TIME.  They  do not even have bedrooms, just cells in which they sit (not even lay down).

I hope that at some point I may be able to reach a stage where even thinking of something like this would be possible...  in my short experience on a cabin solitary retreat at Karme Choling in Vermont I realized how much I need and want people around me.
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Haiti

A prayer for Haiti

May the people of Haiti find peace and strength
May their lives be pieced together, homes reconstructed,
families reunited, peace restored
May the ones who died be reunited with God

May our leaders and ourselves shine in these times of need
and help them restore their lives, homes, food supply, education.

May we all gather in conscious prayer
may we all be at peace
may we all be happy
may we all fulfill our highest potentials
may we all be healed
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Preparations for the Shankha Prakshalana, let's drink

The Shankha Prakshalana, in very simple terms,  is a complete and thorough cleansing technique that purifies the complete mouth to anus chanel.   It is done by drinking lukewarm water with salt in stages, and performing a sequence of five asanas, this will invite one to go the bathroom, again and again, until everything is cleaned.

After the exercise, a whole day of rest is required and there are very specific timings for when to eat and what to eat. I am learning now how to cook Khichdi, and how to prepare a special juice called Ukada.

Why am I doing it?  I am always looking for ways to help the body work at the optimum level (just like the yogis in the Pradipika times and ever before or since),  and also, one of the benefits of this kryia is that it reduces mucous, which after my last cold has not completely gone away.   The way I was taught to reduce this in Thailand was by doing the Vaman Dhauti (which is done by drinking warm salty water and then vomiting it), but this type of practice feels a little too violent for me, especially when you hear that it has to be perfromed for about a week, every morning...  instead this other kryia, although more intense and requiring one full day of rest, is done and that is it.  I kind of like that, I am after all a New Yorker now.

Picture credit is here.  It shows some of the simple asanas that are performed in between salty-warm drinking-rounds.

It is recommended to perform this (or any) kryia under the guideance of a teacher, not something to treat lightly...
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Drishti

One of my readers, while commenting on the post on new year yoga resolutions said: "drishti" (or looking point), and I was a little upset that I had not thought about that.  What a wonderful goal...

Last night the talk at the shala touched on this subject of drishti, how it is related to the "fire" element, and how sight is such a potentially distractive sense.  Matter of fact, whenever I am practicing and my eyes start to wonder, it is pretty much guaranteed that I will be losing internal focus.

One thing Eddie mentioned, that I thought was worth remembering, was that whenever we are practicing, say, the warrior pose, and we are supposed to look at the middle finger, to see and test if we can rest the eyes there, instead of "look".

This idea of "placing the focus" rather than "looking" resonates with me, and just by listening to him speak I began to rest the eyes on the floor and go within.

My eyes are very fiery, (as you can see in the picture),  they want to eat up information.  Taming them is quite a challenge.

Do you get distracted during practice?  which sense takes you out?
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New Courtain, should I practice?

I bought a new courtain from Bed Bath and Beyond last night and hence the bedrooom is now DARK.  Result, I woke up just now,  8:22.  The shala is probably crowded.  In the livingroom it is sunny, coffe tastes good, I am feeling the blogging, and... drum roll: I don't feel like practicing...  Haha!!! there it is!,  internal sabotage!, should I allow it?

What to do?

I remember Paul's essay on "Doing what my body wants" , I find and read it... there it is,

It therefore is self-defeating to say "I did what my body wants today". Such an approach keeps one in the same rut, going around in circles without any hope of growth...

In the Yoga Sutras, the authorative text on yoga, Patanjali points out the obstacles that come in the way of our practice (I.30). They are physical ailment, lethargy, unreasonable doubt, carelessness, laziness, undisciplined senses, imaginations, inability to reach higher experiences, and non retention of the achieved experiences

OK, I qualify, I am having a mind attack.

Will roll out the mat.

Tonight there is also the third free talk on the yoga sutras at the shala.
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The Titanic and the Upanishads

... I remember watching footage of how the Titanic was discovered - two and a half miles below the surface of the ocean, far beyond depths that light can penetrate, where the sheer weight of the sea would-crush a human being.

Scientists designed a twelve-foot robot called Argo and lowered it little by little through those black waters right to the ocean floor.  At those blind depths, probing with cameras and sonar, they began to piece together a vivid picture of a world no one could have seen before.  The video seemed to take us through doors that had not been opened for seventy years, down that famous staircase into a silent crystal ballroom uncorrupted by time - eerie, disjointed shots of lightless landscape.

That is how I think of the Upanishads, probing depths where individuality itself dissolves and sending up pictures of treasures sunk in the seabed of the unconscious.

I continue to be totally mesmerized by the way Easwaran takes me through the Upanishads,  I have written about it before in the context of my deepest desires. This is one of those books I don't want to end.  I am savoring it, slowly.


I feel like I can see the staircases, (and Leo and Kate in them by the way).  How is that for a metaphore.   They [the enlightened intronauts) had to try to send signals, they had to try to show us how wonderful it was, even if words became meaningless.


This comes from location 295 on the kindle version of the book.   I am loving the kindle by the way.
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Yoga Inc, Neti Neti Neti

Today while reviewing blogs I came across a post from yogadork that linked to the movie "Yoga Inc" a film by John Philip which you can also watch for free here.

At 58 minutes in length, its premise is: "The documentary that asks whether yoga can survive Big Business with its good karma intact".


However, after watching, it seemed to me to be more about weather it can survive Bikram, as most of the focus was directed at the man...  I suppose it makes sense.

I am fascinated by the way in which we all (me being the first) want yoga to be "something",  to be a way to spirit, not a way to get fit, a way to live well, not a showcase for an egomaniac.  In any case, it is about control, and the discomfort I (at least) get when I see yoga being manipulated in ways that do not seem yogic, to me...  which also makes me feel safely and in control about me knowing what yoga is.   I don't, I can only follow what the masters have left as clues.

Yesterday while reading Paul Dallaghan's "In loving memory of Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, "Guruji"" I followed his linking to Alex Medin detailed biographi of Jois, and what surprised me -again- is being reminded that this man wrote ONE book (and a half if we count the Surya Namaskar).

He did not want to talk too much about yoga because he thought it is a very long term experience, which we may only "get" (if that is the word) after a while, and by a while he means a lifetime (over 30/40 years of serious practice).

Back to the movie,  I did not know that we are up the third yearly yoga competition, I also did not know (but should have) that Bikram is the force behidn it... (dah!), or that after being touched by the Los Angeles courts on accounts on safety issues on his studio he is now planning to move the headquarters to Hawaii... my guess is that Bikram is kind of asking for a major problem to come his way, playing with karma, then again, who am I to know better?

I get such strong reactions to this,  sometimes I want to run away and be in a cave, like one of the women in the movie actually does, sometimes I feel like commercializing the hell out of everything, like the "fuck yoga" guy does in the movie (he is coming from anger and from the fact that his wife was doing a little too much yoga instead of playing with him).

I suppose the answer is not there, and not there, and not even in the middle path.  Neti neti neti.

The only statement that resonates true comes at the end by a YogaWorks instructor who says, and I paraphrase "the universe is exactly as it should be right now"...  which puts yoga in the perfect context, and I agree with this.   The fact that these questions and sensations are with me right now are the exact thing we all need, or maybe I need,  these questions, these reactions, even the boiling anger that some of these topics bring about.  It is all good.

I've shared my feelings about Bikram before too.

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Julie and Claudia, the Pradipika Hatha Yoga practices for one year

You know that woman Julie who followed the recipes of the first book of Julia Child for a year and then got a movie deal?  well, today I was thinking, what if I were to attempt to practice all the exercises in the Hatha Yoga Pradipika (the witchcraft book of yoga), in one year?  do you think maybe I could turn famous?  get a movie deal?

That was a good feeling line-of-thought until I actually opened the book and read some of the practices... consider:

Bahiskrita dhauti:   "...very dificult unless you are an extremely advanced hatha yoga practitioner.... standing navel-deep in clean water, pushing the rectum out and washing it in the hands... The Gherand Samhita says it is not easily available even to the Gods"

Yeah you got that right!  I thought that was an urban myth, but there it is, in the Pradipika.

I will spare you the Moola shodhana

Now, funny stuff aside,  I did find one practice I am highly interested on,  the "Varisara dhauti", or "shankhaprakshalana" , It is an elaborate practice because of all the preparations and things to do afterwards, but very easy to perform in itself, nothing gross, and as effective as surgery for cleansing all the whole digestive system.  

I will be trying it, and I will be blogging about it.

By the way, the best description of how to do it I have found is here.
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A synchronistic event

I believe that the universe conspires to help...  a few posts ago I was talking about my confusion on what pranayama practice to do, and how I was inclined to stick to the prescription given to me in Thailand.

Well, this evening I was casually browsing through the Pradipika and guess what I found?, yeap, the pranayama prescription...

In the video, after the title you can see how they made me check which nostril was active upon awakening, before lunch, before dinner and before bed. Then at the bottom is the prescription. When I turn it around there is a chart of the characteristics of Vata (air) Pitta (fire) and Kapha (water)people (elements).

I think the fact that I found it is a MAJOR SIGN!

I took a video of it rather than a picture mostly because I cannot get over how much I prefer the flip to my digital camera.


Pranayama Prescription from ClaudiaYoga on Vimeo.
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Progress on the drop backs!

Last December I committed to trying for two months a practice for dropbacks that, the indian institute promoting it says, is guaranteed to get us happily falling to the floor with full control and within that short period of time.

So here is my progress from the last video,  and I believe it is getting a tinny little bit better, as in:  (a) the hands are sliding down further, (b) I can breath a little better in it, although I am not really doing kaphalabati after Bodi and Susananda were a little horrified by the proposition, and (c) I kind of get a rush of energy after practicing it rather than, feeling... what is the word?  "depleted" as I did the first time.

I am excited about it.

The video is a bit rushed cause it was at the gym and some kids were knocking on the door to get it... must work on finding that tripode too



Jan 1st 2009, preparation for Backbend progress from ClaudiaYoga on Vimeo.
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So, I have to ask

Do you have some specific yoga goals for the year?  I have read around that people are coming up with ideas and I wonder if you guys sit down and write down "goals", or is that non-yogic?

I happen to think that putting things in writing gives them "momentum", call me a fan of Anthony Robbins (which I am sometimes) and/or the positive thinking movement, (also),  but the thing is that whenever things came to happen in my life they were always inevitably "written down somewhere" prior to manifestation.

So here are mine:

• Meditate daily
• Re-establish pranayama practice
• Drop back (you knew that one)
• Come back from the drop backs, ambitious!
• Start the intermediate series (pleaseeeee)
• Become enlightened.... yes I know, it may take lifetimes, but I thought I would start writing it at some point, just in case

So what are yours?  would love to hear

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What if this was really what you thought?

What if this was something you had totally incorporated into your system and you trully thought this way? How would your life be different?

"I am the dharma. My thoughts and actions serve a universal purpose. The next thing I desire turns out to be the best thing I could want for myself and my surroundings. I make no mistakes because the cosmic computer is never wrong. If moments of randomness or accidents occur, they serve a deeper purpose that I will eventually discover."

Funny thing is I was having second thoughts about bloggin this... you know the kind? "Is this a good post?" "should I bother to mention Chopra yet again!"... etc... then again, all I had to do was re-read the statement and here comes the post!  guilt-free, pain-free, on purpose

I came accross this last night while reading Malika Chopra's website: Intent. In it, Somebody posed Deepak Chopra the universal question of debate: how do we know if our intent is coming from EGO GRATIFICATION as opposed to BEING ALIGNED WITH THE DIVINE PURPOSE?

The quote above is step number five in how we get to let go and trust the process, how we get to know that we are in the flow. The previous steps were equally interesting, and I find myself usually between 3 and 4:

1. I'm doing this. It's all up to me. I'm in control. I fear lack of control. Nobody can defy the laws of Nature and the constant reminders of accident and mistakes.

2. I seem to have a little backup. I work hard to get what I want, but occasionally when things are out of my control an invisible helping hand -- call it fate or luck -- reaches down. I wish I knew more about this backup. It's more like a curious anomaly than anything I can rely on.

3. My sense of control is being replaced by a sense of flow. I am sometimes on automatic pilot, yet life goes on very well. I feel safer, more relaxed, less vigilant. I worry much less about accidents and mistakes. The invisible hand seems to be guiding my life more and more.

4. Everything happens for a reason. I can't fathom the whole picture, but clearly there's a grand design. I am included in that design, and this realization has changed my whole perspective. I see no need to struggle. I do more watching, less efforting. Strangely, this doesn't mean I have become passive. I feel more energy and wider possibilities than I did when I had to do everything myself.

Can you identify with any of the steps?

The whole post can be found here.
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Pranayama in my mind - energized but confused

One of my new year resolutions is to re-establish pranayama practice, the last of which I did at teacher training in Thailand last February.  I had gotten into a rhythm, practicing every day, with my own prescription as given by the teachers.  Then I got back to NYC and all changed,  out of a job, having the sell the house, the car, finding a new place to live etc etc... oh it was fun, but I digress.

It turned out that everything worked out fine (do your practice and all is coming), so now there are no more excuses and I am feeling a bigger and bigger need to reconnect with the breath, to understand it, to go deeper.

Obstacles I find on the way is the length of the practice and I do not think I may be able to wake up earlier than 5 AM, and also who to follow.  I feel that if there was a good program out there it might be easier, or not, not sure. Also my dread at the thought of yet another practice and how long it might take... all of these being of course, just "thoughts", and completely outside of the realm of the here and now, hence "to be discarded".

Today I read most of The Yoga of Breath at Barnes and Nobles, in which after much introduction the first exercise is a thorough exploration of my body in Savasana, sounds easy enough.  This led me to read "Science of Breath", which its fantastic stories about how Swami Rama hypnotized (and likely revolutionized) the american establishment of medicine when he "died"* in front of them, just for research purposes.   And this then led to explore Boodiba's suggestion of "The Subtle Body".  In short I feel energized but confused.

There are also many more resources out there.

Where to start?

Perhaps the best way would be to find my pranayama prescription and go with that. Or see if Dharma Mittra has a course on it?

I suppose, true to form and it being the first of the year there is a goal but not much clarity.  I guess it is a start.

*from the foreword: "...He simulated death by virtually stopping his brain waves and heart beat - and yet remained fully conscious of events occurring around him in the laboratory."
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