The Difference: What yoga does NOT do for you vs. what it does

Maybe a fine line has to be walked when it comes to our expectations of yoga, here are five things yoga will definitely not give you, and their counterpart.

It will not give you superpowers: I am having a lot of trouble getting over this one cause I would really like to become invisible.  It is after all in the Yoga Sutras, all that talk about siddhis, they are there! I swear.  But the truth is that in this time and age we are more likely to become peaceful beings than to obtain any superpowers, at least not the big ones that Patanjali names.

On the other hand It all comes down to how we define "superpowers", ha? lawyers out there?.  Perhaps a few superpowers that might be attainable and nice could be:  "being kind to everyone", including those people we do not like. Or "clearing our mind from judgement" as in being able to walk on the street for one day without judging and instead sending blessings to everyone.  Too flower power? yes, that is how the basic superpowers are, they hide themselves behind the curtain of being too simple, and not cool.

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It will not give you a model's body: If you are looking to become a supermodel in the sense of how we think of them in the West (tall, ultra skinny, starving empty eyes), then yoga is not the way.

On the other hand:  It will restore your body to it's origindal healthy blue print. Daily asana practice will put you in touch with your body at a much more intimate and deeper level, it will show you intuitively things that you did not know before about it, and hence will help you make better nutritional decisions which will lead to a healthy lustrous and beautiful body.

By the way, when I say yoga will give you a beautiful body, by the word "beautiful" I mean: healthy, well proportioned and taking into account the magnificent radiance of your own genetics. Beautiful with self love, the real love.
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It will not get rid of your ego; Matter of fact it might increase it  When we start practicing daily the results come rather quickly.  The body begins to look good, and feel good. Muscles we did not know we had suddenly "appear", we breath deeper and the shine in our eyes reflects that.  So it is easy to fall into the trap of going over the top, especially in the thought world, where nobody can hear, where only we know that we are the most flexible or beautiful ever... it happens, just something to watch out for.

On the other hand:  Ego will present itself, oh in so many ways! it will be fun, easier to point out, to make friends with, to start a conversation.  It is a lovely road at times.  When we can identify it and get "out of the story" and "on with our lives", oh, it can be so humbling, so transforming.
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It will not give you everything you want:   Well this is the ultimate paradox of yoga, one of those things that leave you scratching your head. If you were to "get yoga right" and according to some very serious practitioners this happens only for a few of us among millions (but who is counting?) then we would find ourselves in position where we could have anything we want, yet, we would not crave anything...

Hmmm. I know, it kind of makes you ponder the question: "Why would I want to be able to have anything I want if I will not want anything anyway?

On the other hand, even though at the ultimate level we would not crave any of those things we thought we wanted, before we even we get there yoga might give us everything we need, just like the Rolling Stones song song goes: "but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need". Yep.
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It will not get rid of your anger: Anger is a common and popular emotion these days, it gets people noticed (not for long but it does), and it makes people feel like they know what they are doing.  It is tied to control issues and we seem to have a lot of it as a culture.  Yoga will not get rid of it, it might actually increase it as we  notice the poses we cannot get, the way someone looked at us, the color of the walls, the way the yoga mat was slanted (don't think I am kidding)

On the other hand: just like with the ego point, it will reveal anger to us, the real issue lies in our capacity to actually recognize it, and transform it. Like alchemists we must notice when the monster is lurking over the shoulders, and then grab a chair, invite him or her in and have a chat, before we hurt anyone around. That might be in itself a superpower.
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Can you imagine what a life free of anger might feel like?
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32 unusual ways to love ourselves

I happen to think that loving ourselves is the very first principle for anything in life.  Without self love it is difficult to love others, or to give.  Although it sounds selfish and counterintuitive self love is the only way in which we can learn how to love another one.  Seeing what is good in us is the fundamental principle behind seeing what is good in everyone, in recognizing our own divinity, and hence others' divinities.

Warning, this might lead to better self esteem at worst and the realization that we are all divine beings at best.

1. Learning to say "thank you but I think I will skip" when we do not want to do something
2. Taking responsibility for how we feel
3. Using only positive and glorious words when talking about ourselves
4. Before eating asking "what is the healthiest most nutritious thing I can eat now"?, then trusting what we hear, really trusting. May be ice-cream today, might be spinach tomorrow, if we trust.
5. Taking a media fast once in a while
6. Taking a "me" day off, for real
7. Praying at home, in the train, in the car, during laundry, after yoga, on the street, in the shower...
8. Taking a long walk, with only ourselves
9. Remembering our priorities
10. Honoring those whom we love
11. Using place mats and the art of conversation during meals
12. The kitchen sink is always empty and clean
13. Making the bed every morning
14. Taking a Saturday afternoon for a beauty treatment (can be done at home very afford-ably)
15. Writting down ten things we would like to experience in this lifetime
16. Looking at the list often
17. Reaching out to someone we know needs it
18. Giving something away
19. Speaking half the times we think we need to
20. Organizing the closet
21. Buying clothes only if they fit 2 criteria: 1-comfortable and 2-makes me feel fabulous
22. Avoiding drama at all costs
23. But 22 does not mean we avoid dealing with issues we know we need to deal with
24. Speaking up when is necessary
25. Learning to be compassionate towards others but also and most importantly to ourselves
26. Going to bed at around the same time every night
27. Making sure we go to the bathroom for 1 and 2 every day
28. Looking at our reflection and going "Wow you are hot"
29. Appreciating that it really does not need to be perfect, it just needs to be
30. Using our energy efficiently
31. Sending love towards the Earth
32. Playing, often.

What are your unusual ways of loving yourself?

Related posts:

For all the 32 Series, click here, or visit:

32 Unusual yoga quotes that jolt me back into center

32 Unusual things I look forward to doing next time I visit Mysore, India

32 Unusual things I learned in my yoga journey so far

32 Unusual things I am grateful for

32 Unusual ways to practice yoga off the mat

32 Unusual things I learned at Yoga Teacher Training

32 Unusual ways to improve our yoga practice

32 Unusual ways to practice concentration

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Urdhva Dhanurasana August 2010

John suggested that I can probably go a little further than I imagine... so I am trying to walk the hands in and stay with the breath.

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Dropback video progress August 2010

Maybe using all that anger to psyche myself out is paying off, I see now that anger can be "channeled properly".

I feel the drop backs are getting better, and even though I still feel that if I was to drop back I would go head first, hence making it not so pleasant, I have to say I am grateful to all of you who have been giving me specific tips. I am listening, and they help!

Here is the August edition




For a collection of how I got here (previous attempts that were videotaped) click here.
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7 Amazing things about beginner yogis

My husband started his daily Ashtanga yoga practice five days ago.  I am, of course, a lot more excited than he is.

Now, before I go any further let me clarify, I use the word "beginner" in the title as in "first time stepping into a daily practice that will happen hopefully forever".  I still consider myself a beginner, only that I have been doing it for a few more days than him, that is all, and let me tell you, I think we should all aspire to remember to be beginners. These are 7 amazing things I see in the mirror of my other half as he takes his first victorious breath

He is open to directions
He has nothing like: "my practice", because his practice is being shaped, he has not done a Mysore on his own just yet as he is trying to remember the first few poses of the primary series.  And so he is open to be directed, corrected, molded.  He is like a field of infinite possibilities, eyes wide open, fully present.

He tries really hard
Although sometimes the breath gets a bit on the short side, he wants to try again, get the vinyasa right, do it one more time so that he can get into chaturanga on the exhale.

He wants to know more
His curiosity is already increasing, I noticed the other day he was reading over my shoulder as I got into the Kleshas part of "A Brief Introduction to Yoga Philosophy", which by the way is totally worth reading, click here for more info on it.

He notices new muscles
He has already identified "one muscle he did not know he had".  Did that happen to you? hey, does it still happen to you, latissumus dorsi anyone?

He understands instinctively that breathing like this is good for him
He said to me that just by avoiding major health intruders like smoking and heavy drinking, life can get so much better, and that he can tell that the breathing is helping him. Even though he is not able to point exactly where, or to put it in words, I guess that is how yoga works, 5 days on the mat and your body says "yes".

He refuses to follow the dristi
His focus (eye focus point)  is a bit off and I remind him to look up, or down, or to the nose.  I can imagine how confusing this must feel in the beginning, there is so much to take in!

He gets a kick out of bandhas
He is enjoying every practice, how much he sweats, how he feels afterwards, the way we craft the wording to explain bandhas.  Must feel like a kid on a candy store.

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I am jealous.  When his practice ends,  I still have 1.5 hours to go... but he will get there soon enough, that is the beauty of yoga.

I find that people who are stepping into the mat for the first time for a daily practice are just adorable, they inspire me enormously.
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7 Ways in which Vipassana changed my life for the better

In my opinion, Vipassana is the most effective meditation teaching setting out there today, here is how it also changed my life for the better:


It showed me where to start

Meditation is not something we can do, but rather something that happens to us when the conditions are right. All meditation instruction can do is show you the way so that the conditions are right.  the Vipassana 10 day meditation retreat showed me just this, where to start, how to avoid pitfalls, how to turn it into a habit.  

It kept it real

The world of yoga and pranayama is a very vast and fruitful universe, there are countless teachers, and so, when it comes to the upper echelons of yoga, like for example when we are ready to start a concentration or meditation practice, it can get confusing.  Teachers may want to add whatever works for them, and inexperienced teachers can sometimes confuse students.  The Vipassana retreat focuses on just meditation, we are specifically told that we do not do pranayama or asana or anything. In the words of a funny friend of mine, during one of these retreats you eat, you poo, you sleep and you meditate, that is it. Keeping it real.

It felt like peace
For the first three days we sat for hours at the time focusing on the tip of the nose.  It took 3 days for my mind to slightly calm down.  Yes, three full days of at least 6 hours of meditation for the mind to begin to stop wondering about dinner, and even then sometimes it would drift.  After the third day the real instruction begins, but there is no excitement about it, it just goes deeper.  By the time I left the retreat my flight was cancelled and there was a possibility I would not return home for another 24 hours.  I was so calm and peaceful that I was able to find the right person to talk to and get myself on a flight that left 1 hour after the original one.  I also made friends with a nun who was on transit to NYC for her first experience in a monastery, and found out that my house had been sold regardless of the fact that we were having the greatest economic disaster of my living years.    These are the kind of accomplishments one can only get when in the flow, when it total  detachment, quietness, when in connection with the universal intelligence that lies at the center of inner silence.

It sent me inwards
Nothing like ten days of no TV or computers and silence to go inwards.  Also nothing like having to be present and facing your own mind for such an excruciatingly long period of time.  All my neurosis showed up, no exceptions, I got to meet them, sit down with them, reject them first, then welcome them and let them go.  Now I just observe them.  Maybe not all the time, but it takes a lot more to get a reaction.  OK, maybe it takes a lot to get a reaction out of me "sometimes" not all the time, but sometimes is a step forward. some of the monsters were subdued

It made me aware of the possibilities
I have to admit that even though I saw peace like never before my mind was restless.  It was very interesting to me to hear accounts by other practitioners at the end of the course (which was the first time I could talk to anyone).  Some of them had followed the instructions well and had experiences of dissolving.  I did not. I want to go back.

It gave me a glimpse
On about day 6 I was able for the first time to sit for a whole hour without moving, and focusing on the breath and doing the suggested exercises (scanning of the body in a specific way). I had never been able to do such concentration practice before.  OK, I did not get to meditation like fellow practitioners mentioned in point above, but I did experience concentration. That was my glimpse: yes it is possible to get to the higher branches of yoga in this lifetime even for an average woman like me.

It gave me a discipline
Asana practice had given me a discipline before I even reached Vipassana, but not being able to practice and just meditating showed me the way to a meditation discipline.  I confess I have not been able to up keep the suggested one hour morning and one hour afternoon meditation practice, but I am convinced that we don't learn practices like this after a 10 day retreat, that it might take a few more, that life moves as fast as our karma permits, and that at least I am aware that I want to get there, it is a goal so to speak, and it will happen, in due time, probably on the next turn of the karmic wheel, I am ready.

You can find them here www.dhama.org, they are all over the world. Tempted to go? don't think, just do it.  Did I mention it is free?
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Using anger the right way

So, continuing with my dropback meltdown, I asked John about it: Do you think I don't drop back because of flexibility or because of fear? He thought about it for a while, then replied with that wizardly shinning in his eyes that "it is probably both". I told him I am angry, and then he said something very clever, he suggested I use the anger to psyche myself into it, he offered that it will not just happen by relaxing and taking it easy.

He is, of course, right. He is one of the best back benders in the world, you probably saw that picture that floats around the web, so I trust him completely.

What I could not trust was when he then said: OK drop back and I will watch you.... Eeerrrr now? Will you hold me? You promise? Yes, I went as low as "you promise".  That is the extent of my terror.

I heard stories of people who are just told to do it, to drop back, now, on the spot, like that.  Even heard accounts of it happening in Mysore, and Bindy told me something like it also happened to her with a certified teacher.

For me is kind of like death, I rather it happen peacefully, on my own terms. Maybe that is the problem.

Anyway, enough whining. Helpful suggestions that I did not want to hear included getting closer to the wall, dropping all the way back, and pushing a little more since apparently I can go a lot further than I think I can.

Also, using the force and opening the chest on the first U.D. as much as possible.

For anyone out there thinking yoga is easy and peaceful, don't get me starterd.
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A tip from advanced practitioners on Mari C - (video)

I learned this tip not from a teacher or a book or a video, but rather just by observing very advanced practitioners whenever my dristi (eye focus point) betrayed me and I looked around the room.

Of course Mari C has several stages, first one has to bind, (grab both hands together) which is a feast in itself, then progressively get to bind to the wrist... and then one is ready for the tip! I noticed that after binding and twisting deeply, breathing ever so fully, and engaging bandhas (internal locks), then some advanced practitioners use the opposite hand to the straight leg to grab the upper thigh of such straight leg.

I have been trying it, you can see it better on the second side at around minute: 1:03.  It has proven a very good discovery that helps me in getting deeper into the pose and awakening (hence straightening and sending energy to) the straight leg.


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I surrender drop backs, I surrender

I observe my mind.

I made it a goal at the beginning of the year to drop back from standing to back bend and come back up again, but it is not happening.  My back is not open, I fear falling, I am in a dark place, I think I will never do it, or dare. I wanted to celebrate, to do it, be good at it.

This might be the dark night of the dropback soul, the last moment of night, the alchemy moment before dawn, the time where silence leads to new ventures, but I do not feel like that.

I just watch.

I surrender.

I might not drop back this year, or the next, or the next, or ever.  Or I might tomorrow.  A fellow blogger mentioned in a comment that it took him 5 years of daily practice.

I have heard of two friends who told me the same exact story and did not know each other, they were both visiting Buenos Aires, one saw green grass, the other saw inviting sand by the beach and the both spontaneously dropped back AND came back up.

Lucky them.  God bless them.

As per me, well, I surrender.
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Prasarita Padottanasana C, oh will those arms ever touch the floor!?

As much as I try to touch the floor in Prasarita C,  my arms refuse to go there.  "Let gravity do the work" say the very advance practitioners, and they might be right, but still I feel I need to push, at least a little, or else they won't ever touch.

I feel soo close. In my mind's eyes it is only a few inches.  But the video shows otherwise, perhaps more like 6 inches, or even 9, 12....

Do you get adjusted on this one?  Have you experience the pleasure/pain of a teacher walking up to you, holding on with one side and gently leading you to the floor with the other one?

Here are some tips I learned about Prasarita C:

• Touch the floor with the top of the head
• work on sending the straight back further in
• Get the legs closer if you can, a bit at the time (so the back can straighten more and more)
• Let gravity do the arms work and relax them
• Keep the legs straight
• Engage bandhas
• Thank your teacher when they take you there (floor).  

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7 Reasons why you and I should promote and earn a living from YOGA

As you probably know there is a new shala in Encinitas which will also be offering  "Jois" clothing.  This got me thinking about the reaction I saw in blog circles, which seemed to be very negative and I wondered why I was being pulled into feeling the same thing.


What is wrong with making money and promoting yoga?  What is wrong with change?  Why are we so scared?  Could it potentially be that secretly, very deep down we are angry we did not think about it first?  just asking, cause if I get really honest, that is what I feel. I also read Grimmly's recent post who ponders why does this issue winds up some of us, and Bindy's post where she searches for clarity about promoting yoga, along with some other interesting topics.

Then I go back to Krishnamacharya and his portrayal by his student, A.G. Mohan, in this book.  I have come to the conclusion that if Shri T. was alive today he would be blogging, touring, and writing books.  He would have videos and websites and institutes around the world.  He would do all of this because he knew what yoga could do for people, and he wanted  everyone to be exposed to the possibility to chose to do so.  Of course he would be generating money too.   So If it is good enough for Krishnamacharya, then it is good enough for me. The benefits of yoga far outreach the pain it might produce in our projections of what the world should be.

Now, would generating money by adding the value of yoga into someone elses' life be wrong? or would the choice of what to do with it be the real determinant character and of how much one practices the teachings of the Gita?

Here are my 7 reasons

1 Krishnamacharya says so
If you read Krishnamacharya, his life and teachings, you will get a solid sense of how committed he was to spreading the world.  Almost like those religious people knocking on doors, no kidding. For example, he would go on tour and have very advanced students demonstrate intricate asanas.  Could the viewer do them? not a chance!, but that titilating deep asana performance is what drew people in, is what drew David Williams to say "this is what I want" when he first saw Manju, it is what captures our imagination, it is the first step on the path.  I reviewed the book recently.

2 Yoga elevates life
Recently Sharath was quoted saying that you know if yoga is working for you if your life is getting better. So we have walked upon the secret to a better life, how lucky are we?  I am not saying imposing it is good, that is probably the worst thing we can do, but showing it off, oh yes!  it acts as the bait, someone may join, then discover there is a lot more to yoga than just poses, then maybe have a better life.

3 One yogi leads to more yogis

I can tell of about 5 people who started doing yoga just becacuse I did, one specificially who now has a daily practice.  I am not saying because I taught them, I did not teach them anything, hey!, I did not even tell them unsolicited stories, they just saw me with the mat and asked about it, and I shared what it had done for me.  They saw me before and after India (when I discovered sacred scriptures and released weight), they saw me before and after Thailand when my life was alchemically transformed.

4 More yogis leads to peace
Here is how the chain of events goes, the details may vary but overall something like this.  You take the first yoga class, you kind of like it, so you take another, then another, suddenly you are practicing "on and off", then you go to a workshop, you hear about "space", mental and in the body, and about meditation, you stop having violent reactions and take time for one breath before acting in the world, you start to notice other possibilities, you open your inner ear and hear new possibilities.

Suddenly you are not reacting so much, suddenly you find your self more present, with less clouded thoughts, you have space to make better choices, which leads to better outcomes for you and everyone around, suddenly people around you begin to feel your peace.  Suddenly just for one conversation (because it only works one at the time) there is peace.

5 Asanas are the bait for the nectar behind the poses
Poses or asanas are the "flashy" part.  I bet you if Shiva was looking down he would be laughing. It is said it was him that gave the poses to the world, of course he did, he wants to turn the tables around, he is the destroyer of the old, he dances on the body of little ego, he brings in the new, the radiance, and the best way is to give us something to get started is to show us one asana as titilating as supta kurmasana.

But the asanas are just the bait, and yes, also the body openers, the healers, the purifiers and all that jazz, but for this post sake, they are the bait, what may invite someone to join in... oh the possibilities!  can my body really do that? but I am 33!? 42!?  47?!  89?!.  Yes it can, one day at the time.  Then comes the inner works of yoga, then Patanjali comes along, and Krishna with the Gita, and the Pradipika, then the sweet nectar begins to poor.

6 Asana alchemizes people
Asana starts off as competition cause that is the world we live in and competition means many things, we may want to look better, do better, feel better.  It takes a while for us to recognize we are all in the same boat, and that it does not matter that you can hold headstand longer than me, but rather the quality of what happens when in it, and how kind I can be to you even though you are more advanced than me.  Kindness is my religion said a rather wise yogi, and yoga takes us there, one practice at the time.

7 There is nothing un-holy about money
Yesterday I was reading the chapter on Tantra from Nine Lives.  This subject fascinates me, specifically how these sadhus or devotees use skulls and every little detail of their lives defies what is conventionally accepted.  For some reason at some point a conventional thought was injected into the life of yogis, that of money being bad.  Yes you can make an argument to how greed gets out of control and can potentiality the effects of ego, but there is another way to see it that is healthy.

I don't know about you, but I eat, daily, and as long as the supermarket will take money instead of asanas in exchange for food then money is important.  I believe underneath this there is a fear that money is unholly, that we are not pure enough if we promote or make a living from yoga, that it is much more "cool" to be the "starving yogi".  I disagree.

Promotion of what we love and money are two energies in our lives, the same kind of energies we want to liberate when we try for some difficult poses, opening the body leads to opening the mind to giving and receiving, to understanding money for what it is, a powerful energy that, when well directed, can cause a lot of good.

How do you feel about promoting and making money from yoga?

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What 10 days of non-practice have taught me

As per my previous post, I was unable to practice for 10 days.  Getting back on the mat was anticipated for me, I really needed it, and it was a true blessing to feel the first ujjayi breath, feel the arms rise and almost try to touch the ceiling, bend and feel the trembling of the unstretchable legs (at least by previous standards), breathe in again and lengthen the spine, then humbly just walk back to chaturanga.  Oh life is good!

Threading through primary after such a long time was an exercise in complete detachment, I did not know if I would be able to continue, and guessing that every pose might be the last (as I could get tired or feel dizzy) made me appreciate each pose a lot more.  In a way, I felt like way back when before Ashtanga, when I would take a master class and let myself be guided.  Thoughts like "see if you can create some space" came into mind, or "allow the breath to sink in deeper", "feel the stretch", "work with the discomfort", "relax".

All in all I have been enjoying this new honey moon with practice, it feels fresh, stiff, weird, lovely, new, anything but boring.

I was able to do all of primary and my usual few of second yesterday and today, and I am so incredibly grateful, so happy.  I feel my energy come back and it feels me with joy.  Today I walked out of yoga feeling healthy and it felt just so good.

We are so blessed to have found a practice, to be able to roll out a mat and practice, oh if it wasn't cause I am sore I would be rolling the mat again.
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7 Lessons from my good old friend DEATH

Death has been very present in my life recently, specifically in 3 forms.  One, my father died in April;  Two, because of his departure the family dynamics changed completely leaving me with a sister who would rather not speak to me, and three, I have been sick ever since and throughout the whole time.

For the past 10 days I have been in bed, no light (it disturbed me), very little contact with the outside world, and no practice. All I could do was sleep.  This was all a consequence of a very strong medication I had to take to cure an infection. The medication solved the infection issue but left me very debilitated to the point of exhaustion.

The day my brother and my husband took me to the emergency room of a Buenos Aires hospital I was relieved to hear the doctor tell me that just water would wash the medication out of my system, that it would take a few more days, maybe 5 or 6, but that it would do it.  I was not so relieved when my brother mentioned how it was cool to know that I was not dying, at least not that day, but that we were all dying.

Death is so present in our lives these days.  Back in the dark room, during the moments I could stay awake I wondered about death, and heard her share some secrets with me, here are the ones I jotted down:

Get those place mats:
I know this may not make a lot of sense but then again, I was in that haze that you only enter when you get in touch with death, I was thinking about how I like place mats, and the secret was to just go all out and get those beautiful place mats, then use them, again and again, enjoy them.  We do not need to have 20 different sets, just one that we love, then enjoy them.

Accepting death in life
My sister is very angry at me. She has her reasons, and she prefers not to talk to me unless is about questions I might have on legal issues.  Having a father die and then suddenly not  being able to talk to or see my sister feels very much like death again.  I am hurt about it, I miss her.  Can I, however, accept that she prefers to stay away?  can I honor her wish to stay away from me?  As difficult as this one is for me, all I can say is that I can, for now, for today, and pray that a miracle might happen between us where we can be close again before the shadow illusion of this lifetime fades.

Life is about peace
In my post about the book on Krishnamacharya, I was amazed by the answer the master  gave to the student when he inquired on his death bed "What is important in life". One of the answers he gave was "tranquility of mind".  As I laid on the bed I realized how important it is to have that certain level of tranquility, for everything, for creativity, for peace, for meditation, for a good life.  I continue to aim to eliminate drama from my life daily, I notice how much more profitable it is to have the energy for creative endeavors.

Never take health for granted
Every word that was said to me as I was being taken to the emergency room counted.  A "strong" word was felt in my bones, made me sicker.  Sweet words or hearing my husband say: "you are going to be OK" was incredible helpful.  Next time you are around someone sick, reassuring them is good, even if it sounds phony. Health is a beautiful flower that needs nurturing, gratitude, prayer, dance, a walk to the river, a good nap, a little chocolate, and lots of laughter.

Sometimes death just happens
As I recovered the only magazine in the room was the New Yorker from last week, and what do you know? in it there was an article about a woman for whom living was not an option, she had a type of cancer that kept spreading and the family horrified clinged to life because accepting death is just too frightening.  Here is the article. I believe making friends with death is a priority, we have this awful fear of it in the West, I know because I do, but maybe, there is a way to use death as a friend, maybe.

Death is a good ally
Meditating on the impermanence of my life, the fragility of my practice, how human I am, how I can be gone at any moment made me crudely aware of what my priorities are.  Being with loved ones, sharing what I have, giving a hand where I can, celebrating life, hugging my brother one more time, making a meal a work of art.  Also, bringing peace and eliminating drama, speaking sweetly, using nice words, being kind, respecting and acknowledging children, playing more, swimming in the river.

That good old present moment
Riding the elevator 9 floors as I visited my brother for the past 10 days was an exercise in patience. I noticed how I would get anxious, how difficult it is to stay in the present and enjoy, what? the elevator mirrors?  It is however in the clinging that misery starts, being fully present allows death to flow with things, to become part of the cycle of this present moment that is passing. It is a portal to awareness, to how my breath is flowing, to how it is so miraculous that I am alive, right here, right now, even if on a mundane elevator.

As per my practice today was the first time I got on the mat again.  My ankles look swollen, my body a bit stiff, and all I could do was half of primary.  I am choosing to stay present, to let this day be this day.  Tomorrow's practice will take care of itself, may God chose to let me still be here.

In gratitude for this moment...

How do you feel about death?  have you learned anything from her wisdom?
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Pranayama Teacher Training with Tiwariji

Tiwariji, from the Kaivalyadhama Institute in India, is perhaps one of the most serious and advanced teachers in the sicence of pranayama.  He is also the one who taught Paul Dallaghan the science.  I am very lucky to have been exposed to this lineage through Paul in Thailand, which included not just the learning of the breathing exercises but also the whole philosophy, lifestyle adjustment and pulse taking. Although far from proficient, I do consider myself an avid student.

I have always wanted to take his teacher training, which he offers just for pranayama, as a one month long course in India.  In November of 2008 he offered it for the first time, but at the time I had just come back from India and was planning Thailand. Back then the course cost was 1,000 Euros.

His website has just now announced that there will be a second offering in 2011.  This time the cost is 3,100 Euros.  I know that the price is a bit steep, matter of fact sometimes I wonder how Indian institutes come up with these numbers. True to my commitment to Santosha I will not go into that area, I want to keep things pure, I know that the course is worth it, they only accept 30 students or so, and the teachings are priceless.

I am not sure if I will be able to gather the resources, I surrender this to God, but I have to say I am very tempted... I almost felt like not writing about this so nobody would know, can you believe how human I am?, but there!, now you know, and if you can make it... I would not hesitate!
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