Why Fear?

Grimmly commented on a post last night about the Krishnamacharya book and how his version was different, the one he found in a hippie store in California last summer. So I went looking in his labels to see if I could find that post, the one with pictures of that orange book he talked about, for some reason I thought I remembererd seeing a post on that, and so I went on a search. I could not find anything like it.

What I did find though, through Ramaswami's label was some of his newsletters, and for some reason I got carried away and read about 6 or 7 of them, all at once, and then I went back to the Guruji book, and today, after a terribly constipated practice -sorry for the tmi- I went right back to the Guruji book and have barely been able to put it down to write a post.

I have not been able to stop reading. Something in me has gone "rabbit-hole" curious, and I am loving it, which brings me to pain.

Originally when I went looking for the orange book at grimmly's I could not but see the latest post he has, the "fall" or "blooper" as he calls it, bit of an "ouch" situation dropping back from a headstand into the back bend, good thing he is OK. Anyways, it was at that moment that I membered how I used to do exactly that, go from headstand into bridge, just for fun, when I was in my zeros and tens... Before puberty... I just did them literarily for fun... Not kidding.

So watching his attempt, something in me made me totally and completely aware that this particular challenge would be no problem for me.

My mind is sure I can do it, cause I have done it before.

Reading Nancy Gillof today she talks about how Guruji -Patthabi Jois- had this great ability to walk someone through their pain, mostly by doing it quickly so that the mind would snap for a bit, and hence get out of the way, and so the body could do its thing.

Guruji was a master at at says Nancy, at walking people through the fear, which she even fears doing, after more than 35 years...

Guruji would say "why fear"? And Nancy connects it to how fear really is in the mind. She is right.

Although I know I can probably come down from a headstand, for some reason I have not attempted it... I call it " lack of time, it does not go here in the series, it could hurt me, may bring bad karma to jump around" and other, pretty silly excuses.

And that is with a pose I think I know I can do...

This leaves me wondering about how much my mind gets on the way of my legs going behind my head for example, or me dropping back from standing, which is totally within the confines of primary series and where my mind can come with no further excuses...

"just do it" , yeah, I have tried that, not happening...

I have resorted back to "it is what it is and it will come when it might" ...

I am also not buying that anymore...

Am I falling asleep here? What is it I need to understand?

Appologies if there are errors and the no linkage, posting from the road and the
iPad is not yet good for bloggers...