A Kick in the Butt: When You Don't Feel Like Doing It


Two days ago I was not ‘feeling it’:  The practice.  You know what I mean: Too early. Don’t want to. Let me do what the body wants.  Bukowski out of all people came to the rescue, and it was his poem (interspersed here) that got me through primary series:
If you're going to try, go all the way. 
Otherwise, don't even start. 
It could mean not eating for three or four days. 
It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. 
It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. 
It is Wednesday morning and I find myself in a fascinating literary spot in New York City. I am surrounded by cartoons of the New Yorker all over the hallway. In the wall paper.  The lobby presents me with pictures of incredible writers among the potted palm trees. Long chandeliers make me think of Mark Twain. Who wants to get on the mat?
All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. 
TOO EARLY
That:‘too early’, is, of course, just a marketing line.  A chosen line that now defines what we think we are.  Until we notice them and go pass them.  There is always: Afternoon practice.
And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. 
DON'T WANT TO
We can compromise.  Give up the practice but not the ritual.  Pull up your hair, get in the sweating clothes and stand on the front of the mat. Take that first ujjayi breath, balance the weight over the four corners of the feet, engage the bandhas and start that first sun salutation.  Go to where you can.  Never give up the ritual. See what happens.
And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.
WANNA DO WHAT MY BODY WANTS
Paul Dallaghan’s philosophy is so powerful I have made it my own: "if it ain't broken and you don't have a fever, then get on the mat". The point is that it is a daily practice for a reason.  It works only if sustained for a long time and we have to get real.  If it ain't broken and you don't have a fever, then get on the mat.
If you're going to try, go all the way. 
There is no other feeling like that. 
CONCLUSION
1) Try afternoon if morning does not work
2) Never give up the ritual: get on the mat and do what you can
3) If it ain't broken and no fever, do it!
You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. 
You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.
I find intriguing that Bukowski uses the same concept as Patanjali for the end-goal.  You will be "alone with the gods".  Patanjali could not have said it better himself. 

Happy moon day.

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16 comments:

  1. I lost my way recently. Thanks for the reminder about the daily practice.

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  2. Robert, appreciate your honesty, my pleasure, been thinking about this for a while! :-) Enjoy your ride to the Gods

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  3. Great..I'm guilty as charged... :P

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  4. Oh man, Claudia. You sure hit the nail on the head. I've been hiding from my practice all week! I needed this BADLY, my body feels terrible.

    THANK YOU!

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  5. Love this!...thanks for posting this Claudia. :)

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  6. Really like your blog Claudia. So true about keeping the practice going. Sometimes i find the days you feel the worst end up being the best practices. Why this is so is a mystery :)

    scott

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  7. Hi Phillipine yogi... I hear you :-)

    Stephanie, I know what you mean, I dont feel so good when I let the practice go...

    Thank you christine

    Anonymous, Scott... I also fell that way, that the worst practices can end up being the best just by sheer merit of having happened, but wrote a post about it, on why worst = best... in case you are curious:
    http://earthyogi.blogspot.com/2011/05/worst-practice-can-be-best-practice-7.html

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  8. Claudia, thanks for another wonderful post! I have realized that it is much more challenging (and rewarding) to keep up with the ritual and practice even when I cannot make it all the way through my usual asana practice (to Bada Konasana). For the past month, I can get up to Janu C or Marichiasana B or C, and then I experience intense pinching pain in one knee. I am trying to keep practicing every day and not give up, keeping faith in my body and in my practice. For me, this is very challenging, maybe this is what yoga is all about--letting go of ego-based expectations. I'm not giving up!

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  9. Thank You for this kick in the ass! It was, it is really necessary to hear. Can understand what you mean, you just need to start the practice, then it comes naturally and you feel so good in the end! many times I guess is only a mind mindtrap. Thank you Claudia!

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  10. Edie, I hear you loud and clear I also have issues with the knee, not because of the practice, I am lucky that way, but because I had knee surgery before I even knew about ashtanga, so I have to also take it very slow and I always respect the knees. I find that the slower I go the sweeter the practice is. The point you bring up is very true, giving up the expectations and not giving up :-)

    Denise you are welcome I suppose... it is a kick for me too really ;-) I agree with you, it is a mindtrap and in the end we do feel so much better

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  11. thank u for this Claudia, it really hits me!!! need to read this and remind me of why im doing yoga in the first place:)

    Daisy

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  12. Just what I needed. Love your blog and your book so much! Thanks. :)

    Ruth

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  13. lovely! thanks for this. my signpost :)

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  14. Ruth, Daisy, Cory, thanks for leaving the comment that you liked it, I appreciate it!!! I can use a kick today as well, right around now... :-)

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  15. I suppose that maybe right there is where the bakhti really is , don't you think so ?

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  16. Junaba, for what I understand Bakhti's have it easier, focusing on the infitinite or God or however you call it and then surrendering, so yes, I agree, for people with devotion this is where it is at...

    I have found that a lot of people however have trouble with this concept of believing or surrendering or trusting a God or Higher Self figure, and for those I suppose the "kick in the butt" also may be a good way to put it...

    Both valid. Thanks for your comment.

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