How's the Lyme Going?

Like crap.

I usually wake up, have the first antibiotic with food (learned that lesson rather well by now) and then, say, one or two hours of reading or helping James with his new book -about to be published-, Aaaanddd... I am out! Gone with the wind, or out of wind,  in bed, no reading, no writing, barely sometimes able to watch a show or read a blog or two.

Been watching Breaking Bad, which does not really help cause there is a lot of cursing in it, and the Lyme makes me angry -it is one of its notorious side effects-, so even James goes: "now, now, Claudia" (how did it get to that?), when I am speaking like a drunk truck driver who has just been given an unfair ticket, or one that he thinks is unfair.

Great show, lots of cursing

The ONE thing I am learning through the disease, which is interesting, is how long it takes me to recover from small and big angers.  Just to clarify, we all get angry, or maybe you don't I don't know, but I do, often.

This or that happens and I get angry, and ALL OF THE ANGERS have a certain "recovery time" until I can get back to peace.

Let me clarify by giving you an example of something that makes me angry and the time it takes me to clear the air and get back to peace, or focusing on other things, more productive things, like healing:

1. When I realized I would not be able to participate in the demonstration show at the local yoga studio where I am about to start teaching, cause I am sick. Time to recover: 1 week
2. I find out my insurance cost has gotten higher.  Time to recover 30 minutes
3. There is no more toilette paper. Time to recover 30 seconds
4. James has made a mess of cereal around his desk and did not sweep it as promised. Time to recover: 1 minute and a half.  Provided there are kisses and it gets done, otherwise it can go up to 4 minutes. But he is adorable and always helps.
5. Uncomfortable comment at the blog. Time to recover 20 minutes
6. Bursts of anger at not being able to stand up and do things around the house and write and do my practice. Time to recover: between 20 minutes and 2 hours. Depending on the day
7. Guy from Direct TV calling me to offer a great deal and not giving me a straight answer when I tell him he is required by law to tell me if he is trying to sell me something, then telling him to never ever call me again etc. Time to recover: 5 minutes.

These are just some examples, anger floats, comes and goes, sometimes I recover and then later on I find myself talking to the bathroom mirror and speaking again to the Direct TV guy.

That is the thing about being sick, it makes you incredibly sensitive to where your energy goes and how it gets spent. It is a great yoga exercise in observing the mind!

Always a good idea to PLUG the leaks, especially that of anger, too expensive

So I am taking notes, calculating times, and beginning to follow the "not useful" rule. It is not useful to be angry at the Direct TV guy, I mean, really? c'mon! I need all my energy to heal.

And so re-directing energy is what I am doing, measuring it, watching it, observing it closely.

Treatment continues, I have had changes in protocols (as they call them) many times.  Will have a full post on the thing when I am done for anyone else who might benefit but for now suffice to say I am having a window of energy, I am writing, I am happy, and there is nothing to be angry about.

Love and light, and may the force be with you