I think I forgot all about yoga - I said to James. He laughed. No you did not. After more than 8 weeks now without practicing in a structured way it could seem that way. I thought I would strip out the disease and see what other things happened to me when I stopped practicing:
I liked it
Possibly not a good sign. Amazing how much time goes into the practice. From pre-shower to practice to post-shower it is usually between 2 and 2.5 hours, sometimes 3 if there is dropping back practice to the wall or whatever. So. Yes. I liked the time off.
Even though I didn't like being sick, taking some time off from the mat was unthinkable in the beginning and then.... Well then I liked it. There is a lot more hours in the morning to write, to read.
Silence
Sometimes I became like a piece of furniture in the room. No mind. I began to notice the birds sounds. I would go as far as to say that I was able to see the river without calling it river for once. To be with the seagulls and enjoy with them how they go up and then let the wind have their way with them.
[If you cannot see the pictures go to ClaudiaYoga.com]
No Coffee
How did this happen again? No clue. One day I woke up wanting tea instead of coffee. That had not happened since 2008 when the ritual of coffee was wiped out from me. I think it might have something to do with the TCM re-balancing my energies and my body becoming more aware of what coffee does to it.
So what is one to do about the Ashtanga (almost) mantra "no coffee no prana"? I am changing it, of course:
A lot more energy
The one-point-five hour practice calms me down, usually leaving me with what I call an "after practice comma", a state in which I just sit and stare at a wall for a while, where I cannot quite move the body so much.
That went away, and so on days where my energy swinged towards having it, I had a lot. As in I wanted to do the laundry and clean the house, empty/organize all closets, cook, write 2 books, and save the world while at it.
Involuntary Pranayama
Nothing like not being able to sleep for pranayama to kick in. I did the three part breathing because I needed it not because I was doing any practice. It helped. 10 rounds of breathing in three parts on inhale and exhale [post coming] and I was mentally in a different place. I still could not sleep but I was OK with it.
Lost Muscle Toning
My body feels OK but the muscles lost tonning. Flexibility is not there anymore. Very humbling.
Sneaky Meditation
Meditation sneaked in on me. One morning out of the blue I fell into silence. 10 minutes the first time. 15 the second. No expectations, no clocks or schedules, heck not even a technique! It happened.
What happened? I became aware that I am aware. It came and went. Like it does. Beautiful.
My body is different
I come to the practice a-new. This is perhaps the biggest blessing. My body feels different, my mind thinks or does not think differently. I feel like at the beginning of it all, all over again.
And... I love it.
--
So what happened when I stopped practicing ashtanga? The practice sneaked in on me.
I liked it
Possibly not a good sign. Amazing how much time goes into the practice. From pre-shower to practice to post-shower it is usually between 2 and 2.5 hours, sometimes 3 if there is dropping back practice to the wall or whatever. So. Yes. I liked the time off.
Even though I didn't like being sick, taking some time off from the mat was unthinkable in the beginning and then.... Well then I liked it. There is a lot more hours in the morning to write, to read.
Silence
Sometimes I became like a piece of furniture in the room. No mind. I began to notice the birds sounds. I would go as far as to say that I was able to see the river without calling it river for once. To be with the seagulls and enjoy with them how they go up and then let the wind have their way with them.
[If you cannot see the pictures go to ClaudiaYoga.com]
No Coffee
How did this happen again? No clue. One day I woke up wanting tea instead of coffee. That had not happened since 2008 when the ritual of coffee was wiped out from me. I think it might have something to do with the TCM re-balancing my energies and my body becoming more aware of what coffee does to it.
So what is one to do about the Ashtanga (almost) mantra "no coffee no prana"? I am changing it, of course:
 |
| No Tea No Prana. Cause I Say So. |
The one-point-five hour practice calms me down, usually leaving me with what I call an "after practice comma", a state in which I just sit and stare at a wall for a while, where I cannot quite move the body so much.
That went away, and so on days where my energy swinged towards having it, I had a lot. As in I wanted to do the laundry and clean the house, empty/organize all closets, cook, write 2 books, and save the world while at it.
Involuntary Pranayama
Nothing like not being able to sleep for pranayama to kick in. I did the three part breathing because I needed it not because I was doing any practice. It helped. 10 rounds of breathing in three parts on inhale and exhale [post coming] and I was mentally in a different place. I still could not sleep but I was OK with it.
Lost Muscle Toning
My body feels OK but the muscles lost tonning. Flexibility is not there anymore. Very humbling.
Sneaky Meditation
Meditation sneaked in on me. One morning out of the blue I fell into silence. 10 minutes the first time. 15 the second. No expectations, no clocks or schedules, heck not even a technique! It happened.
What happened? I became aware that I am aware. It came and went. Like it does. Beautiful.
My body is different
I come to the practice a-new. This is perhaps the biggest blessing. My body feels different, my mind thinks or does not think differently. I feel like at the beginning of it all, all over again.
And... I love it.
--
So what happened when I stopped practicing ashtanga? The practice sneaked in on me.
great to read you as usual, actually i have to slow down, too much work and travel and i miss it
ReplyDeleteLila, that is a good point, forgot to mention that, I also miss it! :-) enjoy the slow time :-)
ReplyDeleteinteresting read, Claudia. i feel like Lila lately.
ReplyDeleteClaudia, I am just restarting to practice after 6 1/2 weeks due to medical reasons. My experience was different. My mind was way more unsettled. I did not feel as much at home in my body. It was more difficult to sit and meditate. I am so grateful for this practice!
ReplyDeleteArturo, I hear you. Pressure can take away from it!
ReplyDeleteSylvie, interesting... how the practices are different, appreciate you sharing. I am all with you about being grateful for it too.
hi Claudia~
ReplyDeletenew here to your writing. I can relate to feeling unable to take any time off from yoga*! and having been a huge Ashtanga practitioner (still practice but have also journey with>(Hatha,Kundalini,Bikram,)
I now too feel that it is just there, always present. Not compartmentalized to class, or hours, or practice, it simply is Being.
Hi Claudia...
ReplyDeleteLovely post. Made me smile at a couple of junctures.
When I missed my (albeit shot,30-45mins) daily practice I felt jittery and scared that I will lose my flexibility, I might go bonkers and overeat or overheat and lose my temper etc etc... but I was also kind lazy to go back practicing. It was like I was being pulled at two directions. A part of me wanted to go back ASAP and another part just wanted to laze around and do other stuffs (like cleaning, going for a drive, having a early morning breakfast chat with my husband)... Hahaha...
Kara, welcome! and yes that is how I see it too :-)
ReplyDeleteDeepa, ha ha, I see I am not alone it seems... it is interesting how the yoga takes other forms isn't it? and how there is that pull in two directions... I think in the end I am a little scared of the re-building too...but just as always I will take one breath after the other and see what happens! :-)