Very Tantric of Me

Please don't kill him! I screamed.  My parents had to hold me back. But it was too late. The pig was murdered in front of my eyes.

I grew up with an extended family who owned farms in Northern Argentina and when I was 9 I witnessed the brutality of what happens in them.  I refused to eat pork ever since that instance. Felt responsible for the little animal. 

Agriculture and Meat Industry Fuels Her

As the years went by I became vegetarian. Then noticed I was not getting enough nutrition, got sick, went back to eating meat when necessary (never pork!), and finally came to a point of balance where I eat what I need, with compassion and mindfulness.  

My diet is now mostly vegetarian, and more and more consisting of bland, nutritious foods.  But I do eat chicken or even red meat once in a while. I find that in recovery processes it helps.

When Dr H suggested I eat pork something inside snapped.  Not pork! Which brings me to...

Tantra:

Mindfully eating pork, with ritual and as an offering would be a tantric practice of sorts on my part.  The emphasis is in "of sorts".

Tantra is not sexual relations and eating fish and drinking wine.  That would be so only for people who are Hindus, for example, and consider such acts repulsive.

More like it

Tantra explores the areas of life where we say "I will not do that" and sends a practitioner into having those experiences, supervised and under the careful watch of a teacher within a ritualistic context so that we can break free from all pre-determined thinking. It is not to be taken lightly.

I don't pretend to be an expert, of course, but I do know this much: that our understanding of tantra in the West is skewed and it would be more tantric of us to eat our own excrement than to have sex in the name of finding the tantric experience, which is pure b/s.

So what kind of ritual? I don't have a tantric teacher so I cannot quite claim to be a tantric, but I suppose the opportunity could be used to find organic farms, with proper treatment of animals and pray before eating for the soul of the animal as well as for my own recovery.

Maybe not only would I recover from disease but also from the righteous and rigid thought in my mind that is set on the past.

I am still debating whether I will be able to do this. I think I can still hear the little animal scream.