Sep 28, 2011

Coming Back From Lyme Disease Into the Mat: First 3 Practices

How does one come back after 6 weeks with no practice?  This is my current challenge.  Whenever I find an ounce of energy as I recover from Lyme disease I get on the mat.

Primary Series is called "Yoga Terpahy" (Chikitsa), and that is ingrained in my brain, so I knew it would help. I trust this system so much I had been waiting until I could harvest a little energy.

That moment I was waiting for never came, and my FIRST ATTEMPT was a pretty melodramatic event given to me by the grace of James, my husband, with eternal patience and dedication to the practice. Thank you J.

The post: "Asana Meltdown" generated so many comments I cannot even count anymore, I am grateful, VERY grateful for all the cheering and all the good wishes from you guys! it made me determined to get on the mat, yes, to actually roll out the real mat, a second time as soon as I could, which was, the next morning

2ND PRACTICE

So the day after that touching first encounter with primary series I actually felt good, did not last long but for about two hours I did, so I pulled my hair back and unrolled the mat.

Seeing the mat on the floor again was new, beautiful, ahhh I suspired.

It was impossible for me to do any sun salutes due to fatigue, so I started with the Prasaritas A,B,C,D.  I decided not to focus on how much flexibility has been lost, actually I could not focus on anything other than on my breathing and on working with the energy I had. It was yoga at its finest
The forward bend of the prasaritas makes this standing pose accessible
I attempted utitta hasta, which at other times I had so polished, but I could only dance on one leg and fall to one side or the other. It was not to be.

Then the sited poses were easy.  Slow, hard, but easier.  At least being sited the fatigue element was not so harsh, especially as I breathed deeply and concentrated fully.

I did not do any jump through and jump backs in between each side of the poses, I only did them in between every other pose, or where my body allowed.   I skipped a lot (only one janu no mari D, and only one boat pose).

ONE DISCOVERY:  When I got to Mari C my body ASKED for it again.  I think the Lyme does not like the twisting... so I did it again.

Backbends, what backbends? only a baby one.  Inversions were possible but my sense of balance is totally off, so I lasted only three breaths in both shoulder and headstand.

RESULT:  The Lyme gave me a strong reaction to this practice, maybe even stronger than the antibiotics when I first started taking it. For two days after this my shoulders felt dead, like they would not move and I was sent straight to bed.  It literally felt like my shoulders wanted me buried under ground, dead.  Not a chance Lyme! not if I can help it and that is the will of the creator!

MY CONCLUSION: I knew doing yoga would speed the process of healing, so after two days, when I "got my shoulders back", I got a little bit of energy again, AND....

3RD PRACTICE

This time I was able to do 1 sun salute A (in spite of the fatigue).  Krishnamacharya would be proud of me for the slow and coordinated breathing. Ain't that right Tirumalai?

No triangles or anything like that just yet, so I went into prasaritas again and utitta hasta this time DID come back. Surprisingly good, not as good as in the video but pretty good.  I breathed 4 counts on it.
Uttita Hasta came back on 3rd practice. Our bodies are
A M A Z I N G!
No warriors, no energy for them.

Then the sited went so well that I almost lost focus at some point, but something seemed to tell me: "Claudia this is time to pay close attention", the voice was right, and I did.

The sited was exactly as practice one except I added Mari D.  I could not bind, who cares?! I am doing Mari D!

5 boat poses, even kurmasana! (you don't want to know)
EVEN KURMASANA! although it did not look like that
Then I did three baby back bends and one full bridge (urdva dhanurasana) pose.  Gosh that was painful! But lovely, it was the "good pain", the one you look forward to.

I did ONE full bridge pose.  Felt it for the next 48 hours alright
I was also able to stay in the inversions for about 5 to 7 counts, not bad!

YESTERDAY was a moon day.  Good thing because my back did not like the practice. I have a feeling the Lyme disease does not like anything that gets on the way of healing the nervous system, so bridge pose is not something she is prepared to tolerate.

I love moon days.

WHAT IS NEXT:
I have zero expectations, I am taking it one day at the time. If there is energy I practice and do what I can, I am determined yet surrendered to the healing process.

I am ever so grateful to have yoga in my life, Thank you! Whatever Forces that might be, thank you for bringing yoga to me!


Also:
Lyme Desease: 10+ Days With No Practice
The River That Flooded My Street To Take Me Out of Bed, Sick and All

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Sep 27, 2011

You should Not Call it Ashtanga! that is Not Proper!

I sort of laugh when I see this argument because I wonder where was that written down, is it in the Vedas? or Maybe in some secret manual I never heard of that was eaten by ants and then buried under a palm tree of the Mysore Palace?  Would the world be a better place if it was called "Jois"?

I Was just reading this resurfacing argument that Ashtanga should not be called Ashtanga and blah blah. The Confluence Countdown blog treats the issue with grace in this post (as they do with all their articles).

In case you are new to Ashtanga and are as surprised as me that there should be a discussion as this, the term Ashtanga appears in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (one of the bibles of yoga we all go by). It appears in chapter two cause chapter one is pretty much out of reach for most of us and is only for the advanced yogi.
What's in a name?

So it appears in chapter two AND ONLY AFTER the aspirant yogi has cleared his mind/body and life enough that he has attained a certain level of peace....

Then and only then is he ready for Ashtanga Yoga, for the 8 steps (that is what Ashtanga means) which is for the "serious" aspirant. You can see here a no-b/s approach to what the 8 limbs are in this link.

I believe Pattabhi Jois was a genius in both:
a) taking a risk and not calling the system by his name (which is what Iyengar or Bikram did) and
b) choosing the word Ashtanga.

That was a marketing strike of colossal discernment, not heard of since the Buddha gave us the best marketing line in history: "Do not believe anything I say, experience it by yourself and see".

Yes it is also common knowledge that we "should" (a word that is increasingly disappearing from my vocabulary) all really call it "Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga in the tradition of Jois".

But as far as I know the Institute in India is still called "Ashtanga Yoga Nilaya" which I assume means research institute, and they do that pretty well. Research. With hundreds of students coming in, something must be working.  Their issue: they grew too fast, again! Something must be working.


I also know for a fact, after reading the Guruji book that Jois attempted to teach not just asana but also pranayama until perhaps he got bored of trying to teach meditation (and called it "mad-attention") to our flickering westerner minds.  That was in the early years, when he had groups of people no greater than, say, 12 or 20.

The institute is beginning to teach pranayama -as I have heard- correct me if I am wrong, and they also teach the yoga sutras as well as chanting. Not only that but Sharath talks about the first four limbs of yoga in every other conference he gives on Sundays while in Mysore.

So not all the limbs are being taught there yet, OK, however, as you read this the Institute is building a new house where the family will relocate so that the current institute will have more space for classrooms? maybe meditation rooms? altars? I don't know, things are changing, I trust the process.

I confess that it was the name Ashtanga that was my first hint at the fact that there was something deeper to the system, something that may have not happened if it was called simply "Mysore Yoga" or whatever else.

And I think that sometimes having the goal in sight, as in calling the style Ashtanga is the way to go... You set your goal name as Ashtanga, then you do your practice and all is coming.

I am not ranting, I hate rantings, please don't take it the wrong way, all I am saying i that I am very happy that it is called Ashtanga Yoga, and I feel it only hurts those who take offense in the name, but for me it has been a great help in every way. Also, I don't mind how people call it, as long as the system stays. I have felt the benefits in my body and mind and spirit.

And after all, I could also be wrong. Who says what is proper and what is not? Who has such authority?

Side note: When I was six my father gave me a book titled  "Proper Ways of Eating Elegantly" (I'm translating from Spanish it was something like that), he pointed to the page with the title "How to Eat an Orange", it included never touching the orange and peeling it first using a fork and a knife.  

As soon as my father left the room I went with what my grandmother had taught me, cut the top of that little fruit and sucked the living juice out of it getting my mouth completely dirty all the way to my hair and ears and my hands all sticky in the process.  Life was good.

Enjoy the Moon Day of Ashtanga Yoga today!




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Sep 26, 2011

5 Steps To Interpret Your Dreams And Learn What Your Subconscious Wants You To Know

Dreams are our own spirit talking to us directly, if we are willing to listen. Since the Lyme took over me I have been practicing dream yoga and loving it.

There is always subtle messages that are sent through our conscious life from the subconscious in the form of the imagery represented in dreams.

The only rule is: YOU and only you can interpret your own dream.  Other people can say what they think if the dream was theirs, BUT in the end, it is the dreamer that gets to be the final judge of what the dream means, what spirit is saying to him or her specifically.

What I love the most is that dreams tell us things we need to know in the most gentle possible way, they give so much information I have made it a daily practice, when I can remember the dreams that is!

You can also ask questions.  I have been wondering abut my health and recently and I had a very short dream with beautiful answers.  I analyzed it following the five steps below. I am sharing it  so you can also start analyzing your own dreams, and learning about what your spirit is trying to tell you.

When you have a dream, as soon as you wake up either write it down OR re-tell it in your mind twice, so you will remember. Also remember how you felt about it, cause that will be important information and will answer the first question.

Going back and looking at dreams from a month ago is also a lot of fun, I get to see them in different lights. It is a beautiful exercise in yoga.

Ok, so here is the dream I had when, very depressed, I wondered if I would ever heal:


A train is crossing the Hudson over water, but there is no bridge, is magic. It is coming towards my home. 

Analysis:

when you do your analysis, you will use the same 5 questions.  Never use other people's interpretations. Things like "dictionaries of dreams" are useless because they are someone else's interpretations.

For example: say you dreamed with a fish, that may mean a lot of things to you today, but it might mean something different 6 months from now, so be present, be real with what it is that it evokes today!

Then answer the 5 following questions, I will use my own example as demonstration coming from the short dream I described above:

1.-How Did I feel upon waking up:
The image of the train floating in water left me in a state of wander, I felt magical, felt possibilities, new opportunities, miracles. I felt good. I was floating too.

[The way the dream feels gives instant information, never negate it, write it down as it might help in the final conclusion]

2.-Conscious Concerns
Recently we had a flooding almost reach our house.  The banks of the Hudson overflown, I was very sick, but I thought the river was just coming to tell me it was there for me, but I was concerned we would have to move or something.

[Conscious concerns refers to where the dream may be pointint out to something that IS happening in reality, or just happened or is about to happen and that may have caused the dream or may give clues as of where attention needs to be directed.  For example: here I say that  because the river was flooding us I was concerned I would have to move, and considering how sick I have been that is a very real conscious concern, I literarly cannot move and that is a fear I have]

3.-Initial Interpretation
My friend just had a new born baby boy and called him Hudson which I love.  The river [Hudson] flows both ways and on top of this balance energy a train is crossing towards me, bringing me magic.

[In the initial interpretation we have not gone deep enough just yet, so it is OK to just play with ideas as of what it may mean]

4.-Word by Word Associations:


[In here you will separate all of the nouns, adverbs, verbs, and expressions that came with the dream.  The way you wrote it is very important as it gives clues, it transfers the message from the subconscious to the conscious. Take your time with imagery, for example with the word "train" I could not only asociate with the vehicle but also with training, so let your imagination go wild and associate, associate, go Jung on yourself!]

Train:  learning, training, movement, from point A to B, transportation, loud, chimney, children, play.

Crossing: from one state to another, at a cross roads, making someone mad, crucifixion, Jesus, Light, resurrection

Hudson The river that flows both ways, opposite energies meeting, yin and yang, coming into balance, beauty, grace, bounty, abundance, healing, the name of my friends' new born, new life. Life.
It is also interesting to note I wrote a whole post about the Hudson River and what I think it means... sometimes information from old journals can come handy.

Over Water afloat, abundant, healthy, well

No Bridge need to go around, there are dangers in crossing with no bridge, could lead to not crossing

Magic Birds, magicians, tricks, siddhis, Wand, Wonderland

Coming Towards my Home: coming to me, to my body, to my life.

4.-Dreamers' Interpretation:

[Now re-read everything you have so far, and as you read it see if you can put together a narrative. I find that the divinve, or the light always finds a way in (i.e.: Jesus appearing in my associations which is an instrument of light, even though I do not buy into the catholic church AT ALL, I do recognize that Jesus was a yogi, for me that means the dream has elements of God in it).  Write away and see what you get.

There may be times when you write something but then you read it again the following day and you see more!, it is a rabbit hole]

There is resurrection or healing coming to me in the form of laugther and children's play and learning, it comes over balanced energies, over yin and yang and towards my home, my prayers have been heard and I am healing, I am crossing the path towards healing by floating on water, by being assisted with the Light of resurrection.

I am healthy, abundant, well, I am OVER WATER, afloat and breathing.  It does not matter that there is no clear cut medicine for healing Lyme (NO BRIDGE), there is always magic, as long as I stick with the wanders and wonders of it, as long as I stick with the light.

5.-A One Liner to Remember:
Healing is on the way, stick to the light

[This is just something to take with you, to remember]
-------

It is OK to comment on what you think of the dream as long as you start with "IF IT WAS MY DREAM I WOULD THINK...",  because the ultimate judge is always the dreamer.  That is for example, in case you want to play with someone else and interpret dreams together, which I did with James one morning, and was a lot of fun!

Also, if you have a pressing question ask before you go to sleep, ask the dream-world to tell you.



The exercise is based on a technique I came up with after reading many sources on dream interpretation and attending workshops etc.

If this was YOUR dream, what would you think?

Dream away my yogi! Dream away!

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Sep 25, 2011

Sunday New Blog Post: Iggy Pop's Drop Back!

Sleep box, coming soon to an airport near you. Love it!

Eddie Stern discecting Iggy Pop's Backbend

I've been wanting to learn the harmonious, and what do you know? here is the guy!

Thank you Grimmly! for finally making available a free download of his first book: Vinyasa Krama Practice Book

So, in spite of the Lyme, James helped me practice a bit of yoga, it was a total asana meltdown, but in a sweet way.

Yogi:  What is in your diet? Here is Certified Ashtangi David talking it through and pointing out what will bring the most energy.

Honored to be writen about by Yoga Rose, where she details, tweet by tweet, post by post, what is keeping me from the mat. Thank you Rose!

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Sep 22, 2011

Asana Meltdown

"Time for me to go to bed" I said at 7:34 AM. Yes, AM. Are you sure Honey? said James. How about we try something different?

He then sat on the floor in the small space in front of the coffee table and did something that resembled paschimotanasana.  He did not say anything, just attempted it.  I got up from the sofa, slowly, sluggishly, and sat on the floor.  Tried dandasana first, my eyes locked on James, scared to what may come, then on the exhale walked the hands and tried to go down.

That is when it hit me and I started to cry uncontrollably.  That was my paschimottanasana of three years ago maybe four, barely could touch the toes, three breaths and I was out.

Paschimotanasana in healthier times, before Lyme desease
He did not pay attention to the tears at all but rather pointed out that I was touching my toes and my back was relatively straight, or rather, not so rounded. From his perspective the asana was glorious.

He then put his knee on janu sirsasana (still sited on the floor, bending the right knee, feet to the inner opposite tight. And we tried the forward bend again.  Pain shot throughout every single muscle on the back of the extended leg. I had to re-arrange the position of my sit bone on the left to ensure it was in touch with the floor.  Three breaths and out.  "Three breaths is good" he said.  Then we did the other side.
Janu a few months ago, yes this one is B, not A, but you get the point

He wanted to go into bada konasana, gestured into it, but at that point I felt like checking Marichasana A. The bind was still there, this one was not so painful.  He did it with me.  Just like in that You-Tube commercial where a baby is leading a yoga class, we just looked at each other and tried poses.
Mari A

There was no judgement, no dialogue, no forcing, no striving, just, well, just what it was.



Then badha knoasna, trianga muka, and upavista konasana.  You don't want to know. I did not, I was just looking at him, following him. Feeling the roughness of my breath, the difficulty of my heart, and plain and simple feeling sorry for myself many a times.

Anything else he said? noticing my fatigue.

I saw myself going into baby back bend and stayed there for 5 breaths.  It felt good, not really good, but good. He did it with me, we were playing "you do one and I copy - and then we reverse".  He directed me to one more paschimotanasana after the back bend, of course. I complied.

I thanked him with tears flowing from I don't know where, possible an inexhaustible source that was half upset at having lost so much and deeply grateful that he had taken me here, to the first attempt.



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Sep 21, 2011

Open Happiness

I'd like to give the world Mula Bandha
Mula Bandha is what we roughly translate in the west as "tightening the anus".  Mula=root. Bandha=Lock.

I know, not pretty all this talk about the anus... sorry for those in the audience that get a little disturbed when I refer to scatological things or surrounding areas.

HOWEVER, Mula Bandha is CRITICAL in the practice of poses or asanas.  Furthermore, it is critical to daily living.  Sharath told us in conference last February that we should engage it "all day long".  How do you like them apples?

Many teachers forget all about it or don't mention it at all, unless of course, they are into Ashtanga or the tradition of Krishnamacharya.

Paradoxically tightening the muscles of the perineum is of the utmost importance to the practice of asana.

It all starts with this gross idea, ugh, I have to do what?, but eventually we feel how the action roots us to the ground, makes asanas easier, yes you read that right "easier" and sends the energy upwards (as we engage the following lock)

In daily life we also become more conscious of where our energy is "leaking", as in where are we spending time with people who say are our friends but in reality just steal our time, attention, money, life force.

I saw this picture in google+ and had to share it.  I grew up addicted to Coca Cola and I love the idea of redirecting my thoughts to this concept instead, ORRRRR using mula bandha, or tightening my energy to focus it on this rather than on sugary unhealthy areas of life.

May we all be happy.


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Sep 20, 2011

Grimmly's Free Downloadable Vinyasa Krama Book

Practicing Vinyasa Krama Yoga at Home: My Vinyasa Krama Practice Book available for downl...: A little while ago, when going on holiday, I took all the Vinyasa Krama practice sheets from my VK sequences and subroutines blog/site and ... For more follow the link

Thank you Grimmly!

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Sep 19, 2011

I Want to Be a Killer

Look at this guy, he is Conrad Hilton Sr.  He is a killer. Can you see it in his eyes?

He started from nothing and built a chain of hotels "Hilton", but all along he wanted one thing and only one thing: to OWN the Waldorf Astoria, the most prestigious hotel in NYC where all the presidents stay.

During the depression, in the 30s he went broke, but he:
"Faced with challenges that might have seemed insurmountable, he did what he had done since he was a boy—resolved to work hard and have faith in God. " That comes from here

Finally, in the early 40's he bought the Waldorf. After having started from scratch TWICE.

Now Look at his son, C. Hilton Jr.

Wiki describes him as a "socialite" (someone who spends time entertaining and being entertained). Also as a hotel "heir".
He married a couple of Hollywood stars.
He died at 42 of heavy alcohol consumption.

LET ME BE CLEAR: I am not judging anyone, should I had been the daughter of a billionaire and had millions thrown at me at since 18 I would probably have done pretty much the same. Heck, I am pretty sure I would have done worst! I am under no delusions.  That is NOT the point.

THE POINT IS I want to be a Killer!, and where does that happen in yoga, you may ask? Being a killer (in the business sense) works as a metaphor for "one-pointedness"


I want to be: one-pointedness

Think about it.  Hilton wanted the Waldorf and he knew he would get it, period. He was going for it, he did all he could, he never doubted it, he was getting it. End of story.

Now look at Krishnamacharya:  he is a one-pointedness master, can you see it in his eyes?

So what does it take to be a one pointed master? a "killer"

-Faith
-Study
-Determination
-Surrendering
-Being fully present
-Intelligence
-Discrimination
-Reality checks
-Practice
-The complete certainty that YES I am in the right path, I am achieving it.
-Full concentration
-Speaking only when necessary
-Using words wisely
-Using energy efficiently
-Patience

When I say, I "AM ACHIEVING IT" I think of old Conrad, he wanted the Waldorf and he got it. Krishnamacharya wanted God, or enlightenment, or whatever it is that happens as a result of all the yoga practices, but that sure starts with one-pointedness, or full focus on one thing for longer periods of time.

Did he get it? We don't know, in yoga we never know cause it is a different ball-game, those who get it won't say.

That does not stop us from using the tools and having the faith. From putting the work and saying "I cannot fail!" "I am working with the Light", "I trust" and anything that comes in the way, being a negative thought or a doubt... "Not useful".

This post is about faith.

May the force be with us!




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Sep 18, 2011

Sunday New Blog Times: Scams!

Eye opener: James wrote  a post: "10 scams you encounter every day", great post, then he got over 400 comments on more and more scams...

"THE DA-GITA CODE" I want the movie version, Now!

Why I do not do Bikram yoga - funny

7 Things Yogis love to hate?

You may have seen this already, still cracks me up: 5 Reasons NOT to practice Ashtanga

What does a live human stomach filled with cocaine look like? - Caution could be a bit gross to look at.

And to my fellow yogi bloggers, here is a confusing words site, may come handy!



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Sep 16, 2011

How's the Lyme Going?

Like crap.

I usually wake up, have the first antibiotic with food (learned that lesson rather well by now) and then, say, one or two hours of reading or helping James with his new book -about to be published-, Aaaanddd... I am out! Gone with the wind, or out of wind,  in bed, no reading, no writing, barely sometimes able to watch a show or read a blog or two.

Been watching Breaking Bad, which does not really help cause there is a lot of cursing in it, and the Lyme makes me angry -it is one of its notorious side effects-, so even James goes: "now, now, Claudia" (how did it get to that?), when I am speaking like a drunk truck driver who has just been given an unfair ticket, or one that he thinks is unfair.

Great show, lots of cursing
The ONE thing I am learning through the disease, which is interesting, is how long it takes me to recover from small and big angers.  Just to clarify, we all get angry, or maybe you don't I don't know, but I do, often.

This or that happens and I get angry, and ALL OF THE ANGERS have a certain "recovery time" until I can get back to peace.

Let me clarify by giving you an example of something that makes me angry and the time it takes me to clear the air and get back to peace, or focusing on other things, more productive things, like healing:

  1. When I realized I would not be able to participate in the demonstration show at the local yoga studio where I am about to start teaching, cause I am sick. Time to recover: 1 week
  2. I find out my insurance cost has gotten higher.  Time to recover 30 minutes
  3. There is no more toilette paper. Time to recover 30 seconds
  4. James has made a mess of cereal around his desk and did not sweep it as promised. Time to recover: 1 minute and a half.  Provided there are kisses and it gets done, otherwise it can go up to 4 minutes. But he is adorable and always helps.
  5. Uncomfortable comment at the blog. Time to recover 20 minutes
  6. Bursts of anger at not being able to stand up and do things around the house and write and do my practice. Time to recover: between 20 minutes and 2 hours. Depending on the day
  7. Guy from Direct TV calling me to offer a great deal and not giving me a straight answer when I tell him he is required by law to tell me if he is trying to sell me something, then telling him to never ever call me again etc. Time to recover: 5 minutes.
These are just some examples, anger floats, comes and goes, sometimes I recover and then later on I find myself talking to the bathroom mirror and speaking again to the Direct TV guy.

That is the thing about being sick, it makes you incredibly sensitive to where your energy goes and how it gets spent. It is a great yoga exercise in observing the mind!
Always a good idea to PLUG the leaks, especially that of anger, too expensive

So I am taking notes, calculating times, and beginning to follow the "not useful" rule. It is not useful to be angry at the Direct TV guy, I mean, really? c'mon! I need all my energy to heal.

And so re-directing energy is what I am doing, measuring it, watching it, observing it closely.

Treatment continues, I have had changes in protocols (as they call them) many times.  Will have a full post on the thing when I am done for anyone else who might benefit but for now suffice to say I am having a window of energy, I am writing, I am happy, and there is nothing to be angry about.

Love and light, and may the force be with you

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Sep 15, 2011

"You Cook, I Go!" - Go Sarashathi!

An amazing tribute to Saraswati, I love her candid speech, she is a goddess incarnated, not a hint of pride, a true teacher of teachers.

Maybe I would change the ending, and say that behind every great woman there is a few of great men... it stands AS TRUE. But I get it, we are used to thinking it the other way around.

By the way you may notice some familiar faces like insideowl, and David Garriguez.

Bow to Saraswathi! May she live long and healthy.

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Sep 13, 2011

Mecha

"I hope her ass gets stuck and she cannot shit!"  She said that 3 times and very loud.  I didn't know it at the time but she was casting a spell. It sounded different in Spanish: "Que se le tranque el culo y que no pueda cagar!"  Now that I see it in writing it sounds a lot dirtier too.

I must have been six or six and a half when I heard my grandmother speak in such way in the middle of an impossible siesta heat-wave in Corrientes, Northern Argentina.  Who was she cursing? Maybe the maid? In those days it was fashionable to do so, I had heard others adults mistrust their maids too, but that level of coursing was intense.  If someone cannot poo that has got to be uncomfortable.

She never allowed me to call her granny or grandma or abuela or abuelita or anything like that.  She was "Mecha" short for "Mercedes" or "mercies", her name, which seemed nothing like her.  Mecha also means that piece of hair that gets out of the elastic band and falls in the middle of your face, especially when practicing yoga.  That annoying piece of hair that will not stay in place.

Just as she had put on this cursing-show that made my eyes grow wider and my mind go into deep reflection, she disappeared into her brand new 50's model kitchen.  In America it would have been a 30's model kitchen, but back then all the new cool appliances only reached South America 20 to 30 years later. Maybe they still do. We always thought we had the coolest and newest things, but we did not.

The silence caused by Mecha's exit was not easy to handle. Even as a little girl it took me like four whole minutes of scatological pondering before I noticed I had an enormous mansion at my disposal.  I could climb the steps up to the attic and come back down to the Spanish-centered patio, which I did. Several times. Probably three.  Or, I could venture into my grandfather's studio which -to me- looked like a library and even smelled like one.

Mecha and grandfather did not share a bed after the incident where he had dissected a whole horse on top of the matrimonial double bed. He was a veterinarian.

Mecha drunk coffee of the instant kind. It was the latest fashion craze. A yoga teacher recently told me that instant coffee and laundry powder have like two degrees of chemistry difference, but Mecha did not know that and so she did not mind or ever got sick from it, and neither did I when I shared a cup with her, feeling very adultish.

She made instant coffee into an art. Andy Warhol would have loved her: We would pour one spoon of the instant stuff, three sugars (maybe more) and 7 drops of water, then mix really hard until it became almost a white paste, then poured hot water on top and got lots of foam.  That was before cappuccino machines.

We usually had one cup in the morning and another one at 11.  What was she thinking? I was 6! But I loved her because she treated me like an equal. Then, after lunch, we would attempt the obligatory siesta. At first we would pretend to sleep but very quickly she would start telling me cafeine fueled stories. Mostly dirty jokes about a Spaniard with bad luck called Quevedo who had big gas and pooping problems.

I don't remember the jokes but I do remember seeing the bedroom spinning around me as I laughed so hard that my little body could not but twirl uncontrollably while poor Quevedo was probably pooping himself in front of the king.

I miss aspects of Mecha, her old house, her story-telling,  that feeling of all possibilities her house presented, the smell of books, the grandeur of her attitude, the feeling that adulthood could potentially be very dramatic.

Wish I had Mecha around these days to tell me dirty jokes during the obligatory lyme-collapsing siestas.


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Sep 11, 2011

Sunday New Blog Times: Freedom


That is the Freedom Tower, at dawn, from this Flickr stream.

10 Years later it means a lot. It means we can raise from the ashes, we can slowly heal, we can re-build. May the families of all the victims be healed and at peace. May the victims who passed onto the light 10 years ago be forever happy and well, wherever they may be.

May we yogis understand and explore the true meaning of what freedom means.  May we live it and be an expression of it.

May there be peace in our minds, villages, towns, next towns over, state or province, country, world.

May we all be beacons of light and instruments of peace.

Massive hug to New York City, one of those that is heart felt, reassuring, friendly, loving.

Another view, this morning, filled with light



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Sep 6, 2011

"Go In! See What Your Mother Is Doing!": 8 Lessons in Discernment


He got me in the car at 11 PM and drove me to a dodgy neighborhood of Buenos Aires, he then parked the car in front of a place that looked like a private expensive home.  His eyes filled with anger, the anxiety in the air of the old encased Fiat sending shivers through my 14-year-old spine. My trying to blow cold air into the window to draw things with my fingers did not cue him in that I was still a child.  “Go In!” he said.  "See what your mother is doing".
That 80's Fiat
My mother was at a social event, trying to re-build her life after my father had cheated, abused and lied to her, after he sucked her dry with his alcoholism and they had separated. 

But that is not the point of the story, I don't know all the details, likely I am even wrong, I really do not know how it went down and never will, and I blame nobody, in fact, I bless them both, they made me the woman I am today and I am eternally grateful.  


That is the past, the point is what I took out of it:

After being exposed to the dynamics of their relationship long enough, one day in front of the mirror of our only bathroom I swore on my deepest energetic life force never EVER trust a man in my life or let him take care of me.

I followed through, and as soon as I was of legal age and had some savings even emigrated to the United States so I would be able to support myself and eat, like people seem to be able to do here, at least easily than there. 

The mirror declaration later cost me love addiction, confusion on relationships, and an array of wonders, but it also taught me vital lessons including the blessing of leading me to yoga.

These days, travelling down the Lyme disease healing road and 30 years later I wondered the other day why the un-easy reaction to James’ attention (my husband), to his care, to his love.

Of course! I am still holding on to that long old-time declaration that means nothing in this context.  
About time
I am not 14 anymore, I have been able to discriminate myself out of abusive or co-dependent or plain wrong relationships,  and to find a man who loves me. I can trust again, I am an adult now. It is OK. That old belief can be let go of! Phew! Thank you!

Discernment

Discernment is the most critical skill necessary for an aspiring yogi. And it is not an easy skill. It is a moment-by-moment job, it demands full attention, questioning, investigating what our real intentions are behind everything, EVERYTHING.

Why did I write that comment in Facebook? Why did I send that note? Why am I always so anxious about thinking that people are all smarter than me? Why am I wearing this short skirt today? Why did I not practice that Sunday? Really, why didn't I?

From Gross To Subtle

Discernment in the context used here is the process of using wisdom and good judgment. Easier said than done. It is the way a yogi goes from the gross to the subtle, it is how we question why is it that we think they way we do? What are our real undercurrent of intentions. Can we even afford to get real?

1.- Whenever talking to few people, within your mind, make yourself into the LEAST intelligent person in that group.  This is not reverse ego and it is not putting yourself down.  Most of the time it might actually be the truth. 

If you do this you will ALWAYS learn something. At worst: humility. At best: something you did not know and which you learned just cause you listened.

2.- LISTEN EVEN AFTER someone else finishes talking. While you listen to someone talk, stop that underlying anxious voice. You know the one. Yes, that one that screams that you are not good enough and you need to come up with a witty remark, a smart answer, keen suggestion, or life changing prescription. 

Listen instead. Then make a silence, don't even answer right away. Construct your answer after you listened.  This will generate two magical qualities:
  1. It will give room for something NEW to appear in conversations and 
  2. It will give the gift of your full attention and the necessary space for whomever happens to be talking to you, so they can experience what they are expressing in full.



Only in the silence and space can discernment get a chance.



3.- Always Check your Underlying Motivation

Train yourself to pause the monkey in the mind, to see why is it really that you are sending that message to that old flame from high school in Facebook. Are you really interested in friendship, or are you bored and wanting to create a little intrigue to fill the hours? Yes, it is  just an example, you get my point.

Constant motivation checking is yoga in action, it provides better decisions, it brings peace. It is the way through and into wisdom

4.- Catch Yourself When Acting out of Old Beliefs:

Do you usually say to yourself "oh this is the way I am".  Really? Did you just freeze yourself forever fixing the mold into an un-transformative entity?

Beware of old beliefs, especially those you formed before you knew you could do such thing. There are many. Therapy helps with those, heck they obsess on those, but there is not always a need for therapy, inquiry sometimes is enough.

6.-Same goes for talking behind someone's back, do not say something about someone else that you would not say in front of them. It is rude and impolite and it is bad news for you.  It is like that law of thermodynamics that says that all energy is never wasted but rather transformed.

It will boomerang back. It's a law

In that exact same way, you will get the boomerang of that transformation back and you will not like it. You will lose energy and brain power trying to fix the unfixable when the badly-spoken-about-person finds out (and they will) or when other consequences hit you.

People are becoming more alert and sensible in these days of internet flow of open information. And people who have a refined sense for subtleties know for a fact that if you talk badly about another person to them, then you are a lot more likely to talk badly about them with others. 

This is not just discernment, it is also common sense.

7.- Don't give advice unless you are asked for it. Unsolicited advice is usually wrong, based on an incomplete picture formed by the ego in its desire to be brilliant, and probably never welcome. 

Nobody wants to hear what to do, not you and not me.  The only way someone would want this, and you would know is true, is if they ask for it.  In such a case clarify first, make sure they really want your advise, then look at point 1 and 2 again.

But isn't this blog-post advise? you may argue. No. This is how I see it, how I aspire to do it. Do I ask for advise? yes! all the time, I welcome it, especially when it comes to practice, I feel that is how I learn, but not everyone is like me.  Discernment is the key word.


8- Synonyms and Metaphors.  Learn synonyms, other words that stand for what the concept you are trying to convey. Enrich your vocabulary in any way you can. Strive to find the word that will most accurately depict your thoughts.  Also metaphors, or stories that relate to other stories and bring a point home. Use them sparsely, when useful, with discernment.



Give the WORD the value it has. Recognize it is the Devi of Speech, a goddess incarnated, it has the power of being mightier than the sword. Words cast spells, let us respect them.

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I love my mother and my father, wherever they may be. I see them in the light, I see them thriving and I am grateful they took the time and energy to raise a spoiled brat child like me.  Honor to them, lessons learned. Thank you. Gratitude.

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How do you get closer to discernment?





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Sep 5, 2011

Namaste Motherfucker

Forgive my language, the anger brought about by the Lyme disease is making me enjoy cursing, but in this case it is not mine, that is actually the name of the 1-minute video, which, by the way, is hilarious:



Now here is the thing:

The Yoga Cop is "likable", he is funny and he has the punch line and we can slightly identify with him, you know? as in wanting to be self-righteous like that. He is the "know it all", the "pope of yoga"? Patanjali incarnated?

The second guy, even though presented as mean, has every right to his own privacy without being bullied, and he also follows his yoga by attending to cleanliness, but he is made to be the mean guy.

The video omits that we live in a real world with real people with sensibilities.

I am still thinking about it cause in my head there is no simple solution. Maybe both are right maybe both are wrong. Either way we all get a laugh in the course of the 60 or 68 seconds.

There are some interesting comments in my Facebook page too.  I found the video at Michael Gannon's Facebook page, thank you Michael.

One more thing, kudos for the actors, they are gooood!

What is your take? What do you think? Who is right and who is not? Or are they both?

Related:
By the way, Yoga is not necessarily Union, see this post on: Is it Union? Separation? or Both?

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Sep 4, 2011

Say It For 40 Days: Get a Miracle

Say the prayer forty days in a row, get a miracle. This is for anonymous and for people who have been wondering about that prayer and who requested it.

That is, the miracle, if you are feeling like bargaining and you do it for real, with feeling.  Saying it without expecting squat seems to also work marvelously.

The doing it for real and with feeling is non-negotiable, is gotta happen.  Seeing how far you can go without having thoughts interfere is also quite fun.

One thing to note: it has to be done properly. I cannot do it properly now cause of this and this so I won't be getting no miracles, but maybe you can. Either way: May you be happy, in the light, may you only identify with the light, may you become the light and may all your deepest wishes come true.

I Got the instructions from the source and posted them just as they are. The woman who received it in India, in the 60s(?), and under rather peculiar circumstances involving a vision, a tiger and Sivananda, wanted people to hear about it, so I'm sure she is fine with it spreading.
===
Thanks to all that have been commenting and writing. I take all prayers, letters, presents, and wishes to heart and will get to writing when I can. I feel the warm, it helps, thanks.

I am not quite with it yet, but I'll be back and I'll be millions.  Gosh, I've been waiting for years to use that one from Eva Peron.

Gotta go, nose is bleeding again

Divine Light Instructions

Stand erect, feet shoulder width apart. Keep your eyes closed and focus them on the space between
the eyebrows. Lift your arms above your head at the same time as you smoothly and gradually tense
the whole body while you inhale. (Your arms should be kept straight and the tension maintained
throughout the body.) Hold the tension and the breath. Make the following affirmation to yourself silently, (with all the concentration possible):

I am created by Divine Light.
I am sustained by Divine Light.
I am protected by Divine Light.
I am surrounded by Divine Light.
I am ever growing into Divine Light.

Then slowly lower your arms as you exhale and relax. Keep your eyes closed and use your imagination to see yourself standing in a shower of brilliant while Light. See the Light pouring down upon you, flowing into the body through the top of your head, filling your entire being.
Now without raising the arms, keeping them at your sides, tense the body and inhale. Hold the tension and the breath. Mentally repeat the Invocation:

I am created by Divine Light.
I am sustained by Divine Light.
I am protected by Divine Light.
I am surrounded by Divine Light.
I am ever growing into Divine Light.

Slowly exhale and relax. With your arms at the side of the body, concentrate on feeling a warm glow
of Light suffuse your entire body, outside as well as inside. Acknowledge silently to yourself:

Every cell of this, my physical body, is filled with Divine Light. Every level of consciousness is illumined with Divine Light. Divine Light penetrates every single cell of my being, every level of consciousness. I have become a channel of pure Light. I am one with the Light.

The Divine Light Invocation is an exercise of will, as well as an act of surrender. Be receptive to the
Light and accept that you are now a channel of Divine Light.

Express your gratitude with deep feeling. Have the desire to share this gift with someone you wish to
help. Turn your palms forward.

You can now share the Divine Light with any friend or relative. Keep your eyes closed and visualize
him or her standing before you. Mentally open the doors of your heart centre and let the Light stream
forth toward the feet of this person.

See the Light encircling this person and spiraling up in a clockwise direction, enveloping the body completely. See the spiral moving high up into the sky, taking his or her image along with it. Finally, the person merges into the source of Light and becomes one with the Light. (You may even lift your head, following the spiral of Light, keeping your eyes closed.)

When the person has passed from your view, relax and silently give thanks for the opportunity to help someone in need. (You are now ready to begin all over again, putting others into the light in the same way.

---



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Sep 1, 2011

We Don't Need A President: It's A Useless Job!

I HAVE to guest-post James on this, because, well, talk about yoga! talk about investigating your   long-term solidly held beliefs.  I HAD NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS.  How is it possible? And on top of things, it all makes sense!  
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We’re all gearing up now for the biggest extravaganza since Bristol Palin was on Dancing With the Stars. The Presidential Election of 2012. Everyone is so excited! Will Obama come back from his dismal low ratings and break the record (nobody has ever come back from such a low rating in their first administration to win). Will Mitt Romney or Jon Huntsman settle their Mormon differences? Will Rick Perry win or secede from the Union? Will Michelle Bachmann release a sex video?

We have no idea. But we know something will happen. And lots of it. It’s going to cost $2 billion to win this election according to the latest pundit analysis (“pundit” “anal” and “sis” being the key words here). There’s going to be a lot of smoking behind closed doors. A lot of deal-making. A  lot of machines are going to kick into gear. Consultants will become rich. TV networks and newspapers will get down on their knees and praise god they get to survive another year thanks to the massive amounts of advertising. Here’s my question: What does the President even do? Do we need one?

Really?

In fact, one step further: I think the institution of the Presidency has largely ruined my life and the lives of most other people.

My proposal: We don’t need a President of the United States. In fact, he’s useless.  

First off, the Constitution doesn’t even address the powers of the Presidency until Article II. The Founders clearly thought the legislative branch was more important, i.e. the actual branch that creates laws, declares wars, etc.

But, in a prior post I’ve already written that there’s no longer a need for a legislative branch the way the Founders conceived it. Times have changed and technology has driven away all of the initial reasons for a republic-based legislative branch so we can have a true democracy commanded by a much more informed electorate: Just to summarize my prior post: The only original reasons the founding fathers had for an elected legislative branch (a republic instead of a democracy) were:

A) there was no way to transmit information quickly to the voters (now we have the internet so everyone can actually vote and be informed)
B) the founding fathers figured only rich landowners could afford to be congressmen (still mostly true) so that their interests above all would be represented (again, not a true democracy but more a bastardized distortion of one).

So now, we could:

A) save the $4bb in costs that is the budget of congress each year
B) save the trillion or so in costs that are all the "you vote for my bridge and I'll vote for yours" pork that happens
C) save the 10s of billions in lobbying costs each year (not it would cost 100s of billions to do the same lobbying via advertising instead of just taking a congressman out for dinner)
D) avoid all the fear-mongering and partisanship that was caused by the debt ceiling argument and other similar meaningless arguments
E) actually have mothers vote on whether or not to send their kids to war.

The best and the brightest?
Ok, enough on that. [See also, why I don't vote: "Politics is a Scam"]

So what’s the Presidency for?

According to the Constitution: Wars?  Lately the President has been declaring wars. We’re in Iraq, Afghanistan,  Libya, and probably three or four other places I don’t even know about.

The only problem is, according to the Constitution, the President is not allowed to declare wars. Only the House is. The last war the House has actually declared (the only body of government actually allowed to declare war) was World War II, in 1941. And that was after 11 million people were already killed or about to be killed. Oops! Too late! So the President, I guess, took “actions” in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, Grenada (??), and a dozen other places I would never want to step foot in. [See also, "Name me one war that was justified"]
Thank god we ripped this little place to shreds to defend my way of life
It’s such a simple math: if you get rid of the Presidency, millions of American children will live to be adults instead of dying on foreign soil. And millions of civilians in other countries would be left alone. Seems like a good deal. Treaties. 

Since 2000 there’s only been two important treaties that have been ratified, both dealing with the US and Russia limiting nuclear arms. This is clearly important. We don’t want people sending around nuclear missiles at each other, which is what I guess would’ve happened if the President of the United States didn’t figure this all out for us. Since this is an important issue (and looks like the ONLY important issue from an international perspective), my guess is we can just elect some specialist in nuclear proliferation to become the “head of nuclear treaties”. Then we, the new legislative branch democracy, would vote on whether or not to ratify the treaty.

All good. Guess what? The President doesn’t really have any other power.

Well, you might say, he is Commander In Chief of the Military. A couple of points: He’s not really commander in chief.  I’m not going to make fun of the last few Presidents. But if you do the slightest bit of googling on Clinton, Bush, and Obama, you can see that none of them are qualified to be Commander in Chief of a Girl Scout unit, let alone the Army, the Air Force, the Navy, etc. Second, since the House hasn’t declared war since 1941, what’s the big deal about being Commander in Chief of an Army that hasn’t legally done anything since 1941.

I know, I know, we’ve been in a lot of wars, justified or not. They are “defending my way of life”, etc etc. Here’s what’s really defending my way of life. Not somebody fighting in a jungle in Vietnam or Afghanistan but global capitalism.

The more we trade and do business and support the economic development of third world countries, the less likely they are to want to bomb us (which has happened once in 50 years and not by a country but by a terrorist group that we successfully fought more through seizing bank accounts than through military actions).

Let’s not forget: WE CREATED Al Quaeda to fight the Russians. And then we abandoned them: militarily and economically. Let’s stop doing that! Bad America! My solution: eliminate 90% of the ground forces. Keep enough of the Air Force around so we can retaliate if anyone really does invade us. And keep the Navy around so we can ensure that Somalian pirates don’t get in the way of free trade.

The leaders of China, say hello! to them
“But what if China invades us?” you might say. Well, I have nothing against good Chinese food but think about it: China already has invaded us. They have $2 trillion of our dollars. We only have $80 billion of our dollars in the US Treasury. As Bush would say, “Mission Accomplished!”

Laws: From the Constitution:  “He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient;” I totally forgot about that.

He can RECOMMEND things to us. He can have OPINIONS. That’s amazing!

How can I forget that? Like he can recommend the Department of Education which, since it’s creation, the US has gone from #1 in the world in education to #18. Or he can recommend that Fannie Mae reduce their lending standards so that more people can afford homes (eventually causing the housing bust, financial crisis, etc). My guess is, we’d all be better off if the President watched back episodes of Snooki on Jersey Shore all day instead of recommending things. 

Instead, lets have a digg or reddit-style system where people recommend things, back it up with essays, facts, etc and have people rank the recommendations. Then the top 100 ideas ranked gets voted on by…the legislative branch, which is now the direct electorate instead of a bunch of buffoons we elect who don’t really represent our interests.

Supreme Court. He can recommend judges to the Supreme Court that the House has to then ratify. Again, I propose a digg-like system where judges present their credentials and the 150mm non-children in the United States vote them up or down and when we need a new Supreme Court Justice we decide which, of the top 10 should be that justice. And we do it through voting. Why should Supreme Court Justices be judges for life? Same system should be made for Ambassadors.

Finally, the LAST THING, the President can do. He can throw parties! That’s right. This is in Article II, Section 3 of the Constitution. When a visiting Ambassador comes and visits us, the President is allowed to throw a party to greet him. There’s usually a very nice dinner. Then a dance. Then maybe a movie or a show. And a receiving line where lots of people can spread germs kissing each other and shaking hands. And everyone dresses in tuxedos.

Why do we need a President to do it? How about Martha Stewart? Or that other lady on the Food Channel.  Or Wolfgang Puck. I nominate Wolfgang Puck for party-thrower.

There’s’ nothing else the President can do legally. All of the other stuff is artificial. He can go to funerals. He can create new cabinet level departments (Education, HUD, etc) that require massive buildings, budgets, and takes away people from private industry to give them sinecure BS jobs that last forever.  I guess he runs the CIA so we can spy on people. Like how we spied on people so we avoided 9/11. Errr..
Should the president watch Snooky or C-Span?
FAQ: I need an immediate FAQ here to answer the obvious questions:

Won’t this lead to Anarchy or a potential military coup? I’m just recommending getting rid of one man (and the entire mega bureaucracy that supports him.) The US runs just fine whenever the President doesn’t get in the way. We could’ve avoided the housing crisis, the wars, the massive inflationary budgets and debts, etc. We have governors and local police forces to deal with anarchy. And since I’m also suggesting massive de-militarization (since we haven’t had a legal war since 1941) that avoids the chances of any military coup.

Who will veto stuff?  Isn't the President there to check Congress? Obama has vetoed 2 laws during his administration. W vetoed an entire 11 laws in 8 years, 6 of which were overridden and/or passed with minor changes. So that’s an easy one: either let the Supreme Court override stuff (which they do anyway if they deem a law “unconstitutional”) or let the people override.

What else does the President do? Doesn’t he do anything?    No, constitutionally he does nothing more. In all of the Amendments to the Constitution that came later, the only important one dealing with the President and his powers is Amendement 22 which LIMITs the power of the Presidency by saying a President can serve no more than two terms.

They did this because Roosevelt, on many occasions, tried to take too much power away from the people, the states, and the Constitution, during his three and a half terms. So, Congress and the States, correctly, limited the powers of the Presidency so that a single man can only run havoc throwing parties for two terms instead of infinite.

If we had a “true democracy” wouldn’t 51% of the people vote to pay themselves out of the government Treasury? Duh, that ALREADY happened and nobody stopped it. 51% of the country is on some form of unemployment or other government handouts. Most of those handouts created by Presidential “special actions”.

Rather than taxing the middle class (the upper classes will always figure out how to avoid taxes. It’s hard to touch them) why don’t we figure out incentives for the 6 million private businesses to simply hire one more person each. That would completely solve unemployment, would feed millions of people, and create a culture of ambition that would lead to a true trickle down effect. The dollars are already in the system. Every less dollar spent by the public sector will, by definition, be spent in the private sector. Let’s get some smart people on this already instead of having the President just write checks to everyone.

Well, What about the Vice-President? Do we get rid of him also? Of course not! Someone needs to go to the funerals of dead Kings of other countries. That’s a real boring job.  Do you want to stare in the coffins of a lot of dead people and pretend to look somber during the funeral? If someone is willing to do that, then by all means give it to them.  In fact, sign me up.

I hereby declare that I entering the  race for VICE PRESIDENT
(That is James by the way... in Mysore looking very vice-presidential)

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And I am with him!

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