My start time for Mysore classes here has been moved to an earlier slot and it seems I will get to experience the "stupid o clock" start time of 4:30 AM on Sunday for led class. A first for me. How Lucky. James has been refusing to let me call it 'stupid o clock' because up until now the timings have been pretty much those we keep at home, but now he has no chance and has acknowledge it. I claim victory.
My landlady is sweet, after practice this morning she brought me chapatis with ghee and some spicy pieces of beat. I don't want to eat that much cause I will be meeting Susan, of the pop up blog, for chai and dosa at noon. Update: we ended up having, like, 3 chais, and I am totally high right now.
I am really disappointed at the dropping back situation. It is taking forever and I am not sure why I still cannot drop back. John Campbell has told me countless times to just do it, and I keep on panicking and asking "will you hold me"?
Thing is my arms feel too heavy if I let them hang behind me, so I can only stretch back from standing if I am holding the back of my tights with my hands, I can't quite do the hanging with the arms over my head.. and I have a feeling that is what is needed.
Been thinking about how practice will continue when I get back home. If anything this trip proves that I have fully recovered from the Lyme, gratidude! I can clearly do all of primary series, even up to 7 beaths on each pose, taking my time, following my rhythms. I am loving it.
I know John will suggest that I take up the intermediate again to Laghu (he has already suggested that) as I was doing pre-Lyme. It's a good idea.
Looking from afar at an assist from Sharath in chackra bandhasana, before I entered the room today, I noticed how similar to kapotasana it is.
I have a feeling my back will bend with those couple of first intermediate poses, as I keep working it. And then again, I have a feeling this is just my mind talking and things will come when things will come.
James having returned to America now I have had a chance to read a little more. And when I say a little I mean a little because I get so tired I tend to have naps almost every day. What is it about the heat and the strong practice? Hm. Maybe it is those things.
'Love birds' is what the landlady calls us, James and I, because we are always together. She says that in India when you see two birds flying together you cross your fingers and ask for a wish. She was reminded of that by seeing us. I love the guy what can I say? Glad not to be a sanyasis (renunciant) because I would miss James too much. I am lucky to have met him. He is the light of my life.
Anyway, so I got to reading A New Earth again by Eckart Tolle.
Tolle is the only western who has been allowed to give talks at the site where Ramana Maharshi lived and held ashram (people just kept coming to him). Tolle has been recognized as someone who "gets it".
And all it is, really, what it comes down to, is not identifying with the words that run wild in our minds, knowing that those thoughts are not us, and knowing that all those thoughts have actually driven humanity to insanity.
So I go into the silence behind the words and then I am left with the feelings, the underlying fears, insecurities, occasional glimpses of peace. Sometimes I can even merge with the sounds, colors and smells of India.
I was having a chai this morning (the first two. I had five in total. I KNOW) when such a state surprised me for about 3 seconds. An Indian man started talking to me right as I merged with the territory.
He asked if my mat, which I had left by the counter as I sat to sip the chai, was a double mat, and proceeded to investigate my manduka travel light (which I do not like as it has zero traction and slips) and the Mysore rug which I got at the shala here, which makes things a big better.
He even recognized that the maduka was no dubious: 'I have one that is less slippery' he said with an Indian accent. I know what you mean, I responded.
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| I like saying stupid o'clock |
I am really disappointed at the dropping back situation. It is taking forever and I am not sure why I still cannot drop back. John Campbell has told me countless times to just do it, and I keep on panicking and asking "will you hold me"?
Thing is my arms feel too heavy if I let them hang behind me, so I can only stretch back from standing if I am holding the back of my tights with my hands, I can't quite do the hanging with the arms over my head.. and I have a feeling that is what is needed.
Been thinking about how practice will continue when I get back home. If anything this trip proves that I have fully recovered from the Lyme, gratidude! I can clearly do all of primary series, even up to 7 beaths on each pose, taking my time, following my rhythms. I am loving it.
I know John will suggest that I take up the intermediate again to Laghu (he has already suggested that) as I was doing pre-Lyme. It's a good idea.
Looking from afar at an assist from Sharath in chackra bandhasana, before I entered the room today, I noticed how similar to kapotasana it is.
 |
| Iyengar(?) in Chakra bandhasana |
I have a feeling my back will bend with those couple of first intermediate poses, as I keep working it. And then again, I have a feeling this is just my mind talking and things will come when things will come.
 |
| Arjuna in Kapotasana. Was lucky to meet him this trip. |
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| At the Oyster Bar Restaurant in Mysore |
Anyway, so I got to reading A New Earth again by Eckart Tolle.
 |
| My ego is having a hard time with this book |
And all it is, really, what it comes down to, is not identifying with the words that run wild in our minds, knowing that those thoughts are not us, and knowing that all those thoughts have actually driven humanity to insanity.
So I go into the silence behind the words and then I am left with the feelings, the underlying fears, insecurities, occasional glimpses of peace. Sometimes I can even merge with the sounds, colors and smells of India.
He asked if my mat, which I had left by the counter as I sat to sip the chai, was a double mat, and proceeded to investigate my manduka travel light (which I do not like as it has zero traction and slips) and the Mysore rug which I got at the shala here, which makes things a big better.
He even recognized that the maduka was no dubious: 'I have one that is less slippery' he said with an Indian accent. I know what you mean, I responded.
tomorrow at 6;30 pm in mandala yogashala, we will performe my piece lucy, you are welcomme
ReplyDeleteThanks Lila
DeleteHi Claudia!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I hang back with my hand in prayer. There I focus on lifting my sternum while sending my sacrum forward. With strong legs, of course. Don't worry, it will come. And don't be afraid to fall on your head. It doesn't hurt that much.
Have a wonderful day, Erica.
Both hands in prayer, not just one;)
ReplyDeleteAnd on that note, look at Kino's most recent article: Let her fall! The focus is forearm balance, but you can apply it to your journey in backbends... http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/02/let-her-fall-the-road-through-pain-to-suffering-to-forearm-balance/ Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteThanks Erica, have not watched that one yet, will do
DeleteHi Claudia:)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your Mysore journey, love it. I happen to be going through the same thing with drop backs(I have no teacher here in Melbourne(Fl), I'm it) So, I must carry on on my own. Thank you Erica, good to know that it doesn't hurt that bad:) Blessings to you both.
Jaya K, feel for you, wish a teacher will come by in your area soon!!! and yes carry on... we must, someone in Facebook just quoted Guruji saying that even iron will mealt with enough heat... so we must keep at it!!! :-)
DeleteThank you Claudia:) The heat is on:) Much love to you.
DeleteThe two of you are so damned cute I can hardly stand it!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you LI Ashtangi! :-) I hear it is pretty warm these days on LI... hope all is well!
ReplyDeleteNice picture : ), Drop back, will come when it comes of course, one day it'll feel right for you or you'll forget to be afraid and there it'll be and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. Nice john C is letting you go on up to Laghut, takes some of the pressure off and gives you plenty to be going on with, laghu might help too.
ReplyDeletegreat line in Kino's article which I was going to quote but I notice now you've read it, ...will quote it again anyway
'When you accept yoga as a spiritual path the notion of the need for “safety” is challenged. You have the confidence to let yourself fall with the full faith that one day you will catch yourself in the air'.
Now you know I hate saying the 'spiritual path' bit out loud and the whole warrior narrative thing might be a bit old but I do love that line
I respect your sentiment on the line about the spiritual path, I have began to think of it as the path of yoga, of following the limbs and having trust in them... everything changed after I wrote that book on the Gita As It Was, so I understand much more what you mean...
ReplyDeleteAnd that line is beautiful, yes, was just reading and could not believe it that as I go through it and question my fears she would write that, it makes good sense and made me feel like trying harder and not being so scared to fall.
One of those "jump and the net will appear" sort of moments...
I meant to say after I read, not wrote that book... what am I thinking?
ReplyDeleteIt's curious I struggle with 'spiritual path' but less so with spiritual practice(s)', I have a sense of what I mean by that but find it almost impossible to articulate, 'spiritual' carries too much baggage perhaps.
ReplyDeleteCurious elephant's response, this question of harm and safety, is it a result of litigation culture I wonder.
Gymnasts, olympic athletes,dancers... isn't there always a sense of falling and getting up, the risk of injury that you try to minimise but is always there. Physical pain, emotional suffering, we suffer much for the arts.
Ultimately Yoga is about the elimination of suffering altogether but that 'path' (ouch) will involve a great deal of suffering and not just physical, thus the paradox, we suffer to transcend suffering. But then of course there's the other sense of yoga as health and fitness, depends which yoga we're talking about, I think Kino is talking about the former.
Sorry, perhaps I'm missing my blog already : )
One day we will have a chat and you can articulate what it is... on the spiritual path versus practice... I do understand that spiritual has a lot of baggage attached to it.
DeleteI am also pretty sure Kino was talking about the former... missing the blog... saw that you've gone cave yogi... it is what it is ... for now... respect.
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ReplyDeleteJust a note for the anal, detailed-oriented among us: In final back-bending in Ashtanga, we don't do Chakra Bandhasana, shown above, in which the elbows/forearms are on the ground. Rather, we do Tirieng Mukhottanasana (can be spelled several different ways: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mastapiannis/414107251/), in which only the feet are in contact with the floor. (You may see it called Chakra Bandhasana in Matthew Sweeney's book, but that's not what Sharath calls it. See 1:59 here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPljBKe4ybg)
ReplyDeleteFrank that is true, my intention was not to teach anything, and that was the only picture I came accross and it helps my point on how the energetics of kapotasana and chakrabandhasana, even when done differently as Iyengar is doing it) are similar.
DeleteThat being said, I appreciate that picture, I cannot put it in the blog because it is flikr and I believe there are rights issues, but it is a good one to look at, is that Olaf?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mastapiannis/414107251
Yes, I think it's Olaf.
Delete