10 Marks Of The Wild Creative Woman

Why is it that we love it when a character in a movie does the right thing even though it means all her hopes and dreams are destroyed, trouble and discomfort will be lurking nearby, the hoped-for lover will vanish, and rivers of tears will be flowing down her pillow?

Take for example Bridget Jones. we are in the scene where both her potential love interests have just had a fight over her. Darcy, the one that is good for her, leaves the frame. The other one, the one she lusts after, is still here.  He tells her that "they belong together". Wow. What we have been waiting for! Then he adds "If I can't make it with you I cannot make it with anyone".  Hm.

And just like that, right there, the creative force appears, kicking it at the most vulnerable time.

Why is it we shiver along the spine as she says "That's not a good enough offer for me" even though up to that moment we all knew this was exactly what she wanted?

you can click the photo to see the scene

We love that moment because we know that she is, from now on, owning her life. She is taking full responsibility for her happiness, regardless of her age.  She is now ready for something: "more extraordinary". She is now, finally, a warrior queen. And to us, the casual observer detached in the safety of the dark room, she is also a hero.

This post is related to that stage in which a woman owns her self, and by definition her wild creative process. No matter what age.

And these universal energies apply to both sexes. If the post appears more towards the feminine side even in the title, this is both a) because the wild creative is a feminine force and b) because I am a woman.  But let that not fool you, these energies live as much in me as in any male.

This is how I see the wild creative force in all her glory, lighting up a room as she enters, taking cues from her deepest self, owning her beauty and intelligence, accepting all compliments with a simple "thank you", compassionate yet grounded, aware of the fragility of life and nevertheless strong, shinning from within, poised and ready:

1- SHE SNIFFS FOR PREDATORS AND SHOWS INCISORS

Creative times need nurturing, space and time. A woman's life needs rooms of her own, places to lick wounds and nurture new beginnings.  Any threat to these quiet times, be it Facebook, Twitter, or intruders of any kind will be shown incisors. The wild creative has them, and they are scary. 

I am writing, one more step and you get these

I read once about a woman in New Mexico who put a sign on her door when she was painting that said: "I am busy with my art, so don't come in, and yes that means You the postman or You who thought it did not apply to you".  Talk about bite!

The incisors show the tenacity that protecting our creative flame needs.  It is not polite,  and it is not nice, no, it is fierce, it will chunk off your head with thrust.  And whoever has had the bad fortune of seeing the pointy teeth up close, will sure know we mean it, and tell all others.

I suspect this is why women in particular have been feared and catalogued as crazy throughout history.  Well done gals!

2- SHE WORSHIPS LADY DEATH

Befriending lady death

It is no secret that life and death are like hot humid summer night, and frigid, crisp winter day, or like right-brain dominated male, and receptive left-brain female. They complement and give birth to one another.

It is a mistake to think of her as a definitive thing for it is Lady Death that brings about any chance at a new beginning.

She accepts and invites death in, it goes as far as to claim it in a song, being while cooking a meal or applying make-up, "Let me die to what I need to die"!  Or, in its most terrifying form she demands:

"Give me the death I need"!

So when the hopes for that potential but not-to-be lover or all the time spent on that piece of writing comes to no fruition or the audition did not go well, when the fantasy already built over years and filled with vivid details vanishes, then the She stands assured that there is death because this is what is happening, and this is the right course of events. It is what IS.  Lady Death wants a fresh start, a blank page, new nurturing and new inspiration.

Accepting this death with open arms is how the creative feminine sends a powerful message to the universe that says "I understand, and I am ready for the real thing, let it die, let the new day begin".  She Lets this pass even if it means a period of deserted solitude, even if the creative fire needs rubbing two sticks again and for hours to get a spark, or if it means she will sleep without a lover for some time. She hears the whisper of excellence as it is being born, and she is patient for she knows that creativity has cycles.

3- SHE IS COMPETENT

We were watching Studio 60 the other night, a show from Aaron Sorkin that was cancelled on first season, starring Matthew Perry.  In it, Matthew and his partner are invited (under rather coercive circumstances) to run a show in the style of Saturday Night Live.

As we are watching the third episode, James says to me: "I like it when people are competent"

I see what he means.  Matthew has done it before, he is a flawed human being, he is still in love with the the woman in the cast who broke his heart, he is under pressure, in need of love, but he delivers, on time, no matter what the circumstances, and, very much in spite of him. For instance there is one time where he really cannot believe he is about to say the words: "the show must go on".  And it does.

Being competent has nothing to do with degrees or certifications.  It is not related to external approval, just to our own process of keeping our word to others, and most importantly, to ourselves.

We become competent when we get past the pity issues our mind throws at us.  Yes, it is hard, yes we want to cry to mummy, but nevertheless we pay the rent, wake up the kids, make that meal, dress up pretty for our partner, do the laundry.

And of course, we also show up creatively.  We become competent in our art.  We know when a draft needs one more sleep, or one more review.  We know when that line of poetry could be better, and we allow the time before sending it for publication.  We see that we can help our partner with something he asked and we do it, even if it means the inconvenience of googling what exactly was meant by the request and finding out addresses and phone numbers.  We get it done.  We mean our help. We mean our word.

4- SHE OWNS HER PROJECTIONS:

It is easy to tell someone to "f-off", literally or figuratively. To say "your work amounts to nothing",  whether in plain site or while hiding behind anonymity, talking behind someone's back, giving a bad review when it is uncalled for.

What the creative wild feminine does instead, is imagine a mirror in front of her, and see the darts of her own anger she is projecting towards the "other" reflected right back at her.  She sees those shinning fearful thunders which, as they come back, expose her own shortcomings, our own areas in need of attention, our insecurities and fears.  For we all have fears.

WHERE DO I, MYSELF, DO THIS?

That which I

accuse the other of doing?

She catches the thoughts of anger and immediately turns them into a question: "Where am I like this"? Or: "Where am I the way in which I want to criticize this other person? "

She admits this primal impulse to take it out on the "other" and lets it run through her intense nervous system with a calm attitude.  It is in the pause, the notice, and the not harming anyone that we walk the line of fire into initiation.

She recognizes that the mind will criticise anything to prove its existence, but that that does not make it true. It never is.

5- SHE MARKS TERRITORY

The other side of the previous point is where we sort through the relationships we allow in proximity to our heart.  

We notice those who say to us "hm, I don't like it, it will take you nowhere", or something along those lines, and we put them where they belong: in the psychic trash can.  We also stop contact with them or limit it to a starving point. And we know how to do it. Oh yes.

We can also mark psychic territory

We cannot afford to be surrounded by people who doubt us or pull us down. It is a matter of life and death.  Not literally (although it could be), but creatively.  And if we don't create, if we don't run wild in the rain then, well, then we are not alive.

6- SHE OPENS HER HEART TO OTHERS

Owning the creative force means we open to the other, to listen, to breathe with the left nostril a bit more often, to let others reach inside our souls and teach us, to be moulded, fertilized, influenced, softened, delighted, amused, taken out for a little dance.

Make this an exercise today and see if you can feel it in your bones.  For every person that comes into your radar see if you can learn something, no matter who they are, ask a question, get curious, savor the other, let it in.  See what happens.

7- SHE IS BRUTALLY YET HUMBLING-LY HONEST

Every time I think I am going crazy or angry and not sure if I am turning hysterical,  I have two wise women on speed dial I can reach. One is my adopted Jewish mother, a therapist who knows me well and can nail me in the head on cue whenever  I am not standing up to who I know I can be, meaning whenever I am not respecting my creative force, the things my spirit wants.

The other is my best friend's mother, whom I have adopted as wise woman of my tribe. She can read me like a book.

There is no ego when I am with them, all pretentiousness drop, there is simply the honoring of what is happening within me, the wrestling with the pity truth that: no I don't feel like doing that even if it sounds childish.

When I talk to them I just tell them what I am feeling, as stupid as it sounds, as childish as it is.

Wise women are all around us

Venting has a place, and there is always a room where we can and must be fully honest with ourselves.

Every time I start at the beginning, with the child in me crying, as I hear the words come out of me in a safe environment I can start to put the pieces together, voice the fears, the angers, the resentments, let them out, take some air and most importantly, notice what they are covering up, usually a need for space, for creative time, for the nurturing of spirit.

8- SHE NURTURES HER CREATIVE FORCE

Nurturing our spirits takes many forms and there is no prescribed method.  It can be reading women's magazines, or even gossip magazines. It is amazing what spirit may demand from time to time.

It can mean watching re-runs of Scrubs, or a very funny show like Arrested Development.  It can be reading a book while having iced-tea in the summer or curling under a blanket and reaching out for our beloved in a cold winter night, or taking that long walk as the Fall leaves turn colors and decorating the road to our own creative forces.  It can mean going to the opera or visiting a museum's bookstore for inspiration.

For me it comes more in the form of journal-ing, writing morning pages after practice, visiting a new city, I love that! Drawing, cooking a great meal, or  listening to Sting's Dessert Rose again and again while folding the laundry.

It can be anything, the important thing is that it has to be something that I want to do.  This is not ego and not childish, this is respect for the movement of spirit, for the creative force. It is what IT wants to do,  not what the teacher, or that writer, that blogger, the president, or the media says. No. It must be what I find when I turn inwards and ask:

What do I want to do?

That is the question.  And it is a scary question because it turns us within.

As we practice asking this we notice that painting our nails with a french manicure in black and deep dark red and would be a great idea for today.  So be it then.

And while here, let's just mention that the creative force needs a body to live through.  The creative feminine feeds it well, she finds out what works for her body, regardless of all the pressures that exist these days about what she should or should not eat.  She gets real and well-nurtured.

9- SHE IS NOT PERFECT, NOR DOES SHE WANT TO BE

She knows nothing is ever perfect.  She knows mistakes are to be made.  She is aware not all of these points are always followed.  But she also knows that if she suddenly has a melt-down where, say for example, after years of playing nice girl she tells her boss to take a hike and joins a Hare Krishna cult somewhere in the depths of Russia, it might be because she has not been paying attention to the fire in her soul.

Perhaps on the way to Moscow as she settles into the solitude of the plane's sit 30,000 feet up in the air she will hear the voice of the creative wild saying: "Well, oh well, hm, I finally got your attention, now turn around, go back home, we got some crayon painting to do".

She might not be perfect, but she knows that when things go astray she probably needs to attend to her internal goddess, dance more, find what she wants to do, receive more love, have a bit of fun, write those morning pages, take some time off. You know who you are.

10- SHE SAYS YES! TO HAPPINESS

Many people identify with the archetype of survival.  Not me. I don't want to. And I am pretty sure that if you look within long enough, you will find out that you don't want to either.

I want to thrive not survive! I want to blossom not just open the petals to get some air in.

I don't want a sterilized living where the minimum required is checked from a dry to-do, I want to dance with the rhythms of my soul as it directs me to move my hips in circles and clap my hands every time I notice something went well or get [read: understand] a new yoga pose.

I want to embrace that depth of breath that says YES! to life, that shows me even if for a brief moment that I am here, and would you look at those books on the shelf and the sunlight hitting them!

I want to haul at the moon, dance under the rain and go kayaking on the road when the river overflows the street where I live, I want to see the world one town at the time and marvel at the wonder of the amazing human race, I want to talk to the cat across the street every time I get the groceries out of the car and until it makes friends with me, no matter how long it takes.

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In what other ways do you access the creative and wild feminine power in you?  And no! it does not matter if you are a man or a woman, these energies are universal.