Satan was my new boss. In the summer of 2004 I was suddenly demoted from a job I did not like to a job I downright hated. Demoted!
I was placed under the supervision of a person whose favorite word seemed to be NO, which was uttered every time I opened my mouth. I would give birth to an idea, she would abort it.
My life was hell, and the chances of my leaving that job were zero because I had just bought myself a piece of the American dream. I had bought a home. Which meant I had bought a loan. Which meant the guards had chained me to the bars of my prison cage. I set myself up to be tortured.
I know now the only thing worth knowing. All of hell was my own fault. My own creation. I was actually Satan. She was just a minor demon at best.
I was the one that constantly thought about the worst case scenario. Had constantly indulged and continued to fantasize about it with vivid images, forgetting that words and images have a powerful impact on the subconscious mind. But no! I continued on because I was the one that had wanted to be right rather than happy, I was the one that had caused all the pain that was now manifesting as if per magic.
There was, of course, no magic involved, I had followed precise steps, had not taken care of myself, thought negatively, spoke badly behind others, conspired, and pretty much convinced myself I had control over everything.
The Yoga Sutras say in 2.16 that all future pain should be avoided. How can we do that? By catching it in the now! Of course. What does that even mean? I'll get to it.
We know the type of seeds we are planting with our behavior, and it does not take chapter three (on the yoga superpowers) to get the power of seeing the future. It is something we all know. If we, for instance, speak behind someones back sooner or later it will get to that person, it WILL Create future suffering for that individual and for me, it is a no brainer. My boss knew/sensed/heard everything I said and thought about her. How could she not? I radiated my hatred.
Here are 10 things to catch RIGHT NOW to avoid all future suffering, if you have other ideas I would love to hear them in the comments:
Consider and Clean Up the Obstacles.
Believe it or not, yoga sutra 1.30 lists your obstacles on your job, in your relationships, or in your happiness: illness, dullness, doubt, negligence, laziness, cravings, mis-perceptions, failure and instability are part of our human nature, they come with the territory and they make wonderful teachers.
They are the laboratory in which we get to work so that when one of them presents itself we can work at fine tuning, where did we go wrong? What did we do that could have done to avoid them in the future? Illness can be avoided by better diet, practicing asana, dullness by pranayama practice (see the book club for a good book on getting started), doubt by faith and affirmations, or by reading sacred texts. Most importantly we need to now clarify what works for us and put that in practice, now.
Avoid Sarcasm
I coined the phrase: "that sounds corny". That was me. You didn't know? Thankfully I have realized now, and after much suffering, that sarcasm is the way in which the ego keeps me way too small and insignificant, convinced that I amount to nothing, and very unhappy. So I have released it and make it a practice to continue to do so.
It is in the vulnerability of a simple truth that happiness can be found. What sounds true for us is what works, the rest can be discarded.
So I surrender all sarcasm, which is another way of saying I let go of criticism, I don't know all the facts or why people act in this or that way, I don't know anything and frankly I don't even care, it is enough to take care of this nervous system right here, which is quite something!
I realize I can't, even if I tried, save the world. That would be a pretty arrogant stance for me to take, and the only way I can really help is by becoming a beacon of peace myself. That is pretty good work already and might take a life-time. It starts at home.
Only Love Is Real.
Uh oh. Did I just say something corny like that? But I am done trying to be cool, I want to be happy and I want peace, there! I said it.
Notice that with God all things are possible, says the bible, only well-being and peace is what is intended for us. All the rest, all the negativity comes as a consequence of an overreacting mind that has not yet been tamed.
I remind myself of this daily, and when depression strikes in particular, I whisper: only love is real, only love is real, only love is real. I was dancing to it earlier on in the kitchen while James did his Twitter Q&A. Kamal Ravikant has an excellent book that discusses this "rewiring of the brain". It's called "Love Yourself as if Your Life Depended On It" and it works.
I admit that this particular sentence used to not work for me at first, other affirmations that did work then included: "I trust that all is working for the best", "I know that there is something I need to understand here" "I am loved". Whatever works, whatever reminds us of the truth, that is we are meant to be well, centered in peace, coming from the power that a peaceful mind yields.
Thinking Opposites
James has his signature No! Expression. It's kind of funny. We may be all together in the living room, and every now and then and he will say No! out loud and for no apparent reason. By now we all know what is happening, an un-useful thought has crossed his mind and he is slapping it in the face.
He is following sutra 2.33 in which we are told that when we are having trouble because of deviant, mean thoughts, we need to cultivate the opposite. He goes straight to the root and tells the thought to shut up with a strong: No! Good for him.
Either that or he has Tourette's Syndrome. That's OK. I still love him.
"NO!" does not quite work for me, but others affirmations, albeit a bit longer, work, like for example: "The energy of the universe is bright and abundant and all the rest mis-pereption! Or, "there is no lack for the universe is abundant! or "I let judgements go for they are not real as they rob me of well-being!"
Or simply, "ABUNDANCE!"
Whatever works, whatever tames the beast.
Clearing the Now
Not easy this business of being present. Granted. One thing is to talk about being in the now, another one is being, embodying the moment and being the space. Yes, that is another matter.
Practice, and for a long period of time -says the yoga sutras-, is what will eventually bring us closer, there is no goal, only the theme, practicing being here, as things are, in full acceptance. Practice, here, now. Repeat. It's a theme, it happens now, it's not a goal to wait for in some future. I view it as a way of life right now rather than a distant goal trying to be achieved. (which is only another excuse for unhappiness).
Negative People Out
When it comes to relationships, say the sutras, it is best to be friendly to the friendly, compassionate towards those who suffer, offer goodwill towards the virtuous and indifference towards those who are wicked. (Yoga sutra 1.33).
I like the two extremes that are presented here and in the last two sentences.
No jealousy will ever change anything, if anything it will make us feel smaller. There is no shortage of talent in the universe. Talent is infinite, and certainly thinking ill of others just because they are doing better (or so we tell ourselves) will never open the channels of abundance for us. Thinking small will keep us small. I suspect this is why Hawaiians have a saying: "bless that which you want", so if you want abundance bless those who already have it. Wise.
I also love how this sutra is so down to earth on the wicked part, what about that? The crappy people? They are not really crappy - they have just not gotten out of their own way yet, so we ignore for now, they will come around, or not, in their own time. I suspect this is why a man like Judas hanged himself, he suddenly got it that by betraying another he betrayed himself.
We need enough energy as it is to deal with the mind and nervous system we have, and cannot afford to waste it on meanness, or anonymous comments from the Internet. Energy must be used efficiently.
No Gossip
Gossip is a huge mistake, it is misunderstanding the enormous power of the word. Words are spells and if we top it with upholding to truth, in the most impeccable way, then the word becomes even more powerful, then our word is law, as in: what we say happens. Behold the power of the word. Let's use it well in this moment and for eternity.
I find that the temptation for gossip is huge, I need to keep it in check and often find myself looking for the intention behind, what is it I really want by suggesting/mentioning certain things? What is it I expect to get? is it pleasure? is it feeling that I am more important than others? Better than others? Am I really that insecure? Am I really that cut off from the thread of well-being? Can I come back?
Letting Go Of Complaining And Choosing Miracles Instead
I let go of complaints and choose miracles instead, says Deepak Chopra in one of his hundreds of books, forget which one, but girl! is that a truth.
Ever since I opened to them I have had so many coincidences/miracles come into my life that it sometimes feels like science fiction, the latest being James losing his wedding ring during the Hudson River flooding, under water! On the street! Only to find it again the next morning, outside, and after the river had receded.
How on earth was it still there? How on water maybe? Because I choose miracles, and for the look in his face when he "lost it" I think so did he. That is why.
Telling The Truth
Speaking our own truth is critical in future avoidance of pain, staying true to what our principles are is how we live a peaceful life is how we learn that we can trust ourselves and then by extension trust others and attract trust-worthy people into our circles.
Lies, or deceptions, or saying yes when we mean no, are disrespects to our own light. When we lie we don't lie to "another" when we cheat we don't cheat "another" we cheat ourselves, we short change our own ability to shine in the light, to be whole and true to our own life purpose. Sticking to our truth and intuition is a sure way to be well now and be well in the future as well.
Surrendering
May I be the channel for Your work, may may words be Your words, my my work be Your work, may Thy will be done. I climb out of hell and into heaven on Earth right now. Enough said.
I was placed under the supervision of a person whose favorite word seemed to be NO, which was uttered every time I opened my mouth. I would give birth to an idea, she would abort it.
My life was hell, and the chances of my leaving that job were zero because I had just bought myself a piece of the American dream. I had bought a home. Which meant I had bought a loan. Which meant the guards had chained me to the bars of my prison cage. I set myself up to be tortured.
 |
| The American Dream, not! |
I was the one that constantly thought about the worst case scenario. Had constantly indulged and continued to fantasize about it with vivid images, forgetting that words and images have a powerful impact on the subconscious mind. But no! I continued on because I was the one that had wanted to be right rather than happy, I was the one that had caused all the pain that was now manifesting as if per magic.
There was, of course, no magic involved, I had followed precise steps, had not taken care of myself, thought negatively, spoke badly behind others, conspired, and pretty much convinced myself I had control over everything.
The Yoga Sutras say in 2.16 that all future pain should be avoided. How can we do that? By catching it in the now! Of course. What does that even mean? I'll get to it.
We know the type of seeds we are planting with our behavior, and it does not take chapter three (on the yoga superpowers) to get the power of seeing the future. It is something we all know. If we, for instance, speak behind someones back sooner or later it will get to that person, it WILL Create future suffering for that individual and for me, it is a no brainer. My boss knew/sensed/heard everything I said and thought about her. How could she not? I radiated my hatred.
Here are 10 things to catch RIGHT NOW to avoid all future suffering, if you have other ideas I would love to hear them in the comments:
Consider and Clean Up the Obstacles.
Believe it or not, yoga sutra 1.30 lists your obstacles on your job, in your relationships, or in your happiness: illness, dullness, doubt, negligence, laziness, cravings, mis-perceptions, failure and instability are part of our human nature, they come with the territory and they make wonderful teachers.
They are the laboratory in which we get to work so that when one of them presents itself we can work at fine tuning, where did we go wrong? What did we do that could have done to avoid them in the future? Illness can be avoided by better diet, practicing asana, dullness by pranayama practice (see the book club for a good book on getting started), doubt by faith and affirmations, or by reading sacred texts. Most importantly we need to now clarify what works for us and put that in practice, now.
 |
| The Yoga Sutras are available online, and they are pretty easy to follow along, click on the image to go to them |
Avoid Sarcasm
I coined the phrase: "that sounds corny". That was me. You didn't know? Thankfully I have realized now, and after much suffering, that sarcasm is the way in which the ego keeps me way too small and insignificant, convinced that I amount to nothing, and very unhappy. So I have released it and make it a practice to continue to do so.
It is in the vulnerability of a simple truth that happiness can be found. What sounds true for us is what works, the rest can be discarded.
So I surrender all sarcasm, which is another way of saying I let go of criticism, I don't know all the facts or why people act in this or that way, I don't know anything and frankly I don't even care, it is enough to take care of this nervous system right here, which is quite something!
I realize I can't, even if I tried, save the world. That would be a pretty arrogant stance for me to take, and the only way I can really help is by becoming a beacon of peace myself. That is pretty good work already and might take a life-time. It starts at home.
Only Love Is Real.
Uh oh. Did I just say something corny like that? But I am done trying to be cool, I want to be happy and I want peace, there! I said it.
Notice that with God all things are possible, says the bible, only well-being and peace is what is intended for us. All the rest, all the negativity comes as a consequence of an overreacting mind that has not yet been tamed.
I remind myself of this daily, and when depression strikes in particular, I whisper: only love is real, only love is real, only love is real. I was dancing to it earlier on in the kitchen while James did his Twitter Q&A. Kamal Ravikant has an excellent book that discusses this "rewiring of the brain". It's called "Love Yourself as if Your Life Depended On It" and it works.
I admit that this particular sentence used to not work for me at first, other affirmations that did work then included: "I trust that all is working for the best", "I know that there is something I need to understand here" "I am loved". Whatever works, whatever reminds us of the truth, that is we are meant to be well, centered in peace, coming from the power that a peaceful mind yields.
Thinking Opposites
James has his signature No! Expression. It's kind of funny. We may be all together in the living room, and every now and then and he will say No! out loud and for no apparent reason. By now we all know what is happening, an un-useful thought has crossed his mind and he is slapping it in the face.
He is following sutra 2.33 in which we are told that when we are having trouble because of deviant, mean thoughts, we need to cultivate the opposite. He goes straight to the root and tells the thought to shut up with a strong: No! Good for him.
Either that or he has Tourette's Syndrome. That's OK. I still love him.
"NO!" does not quite work for me, but others affirmations, albeit a bit longer, work, like for example: "The energy of the universe is bright and abundant and all the rest mis-pereption! Or, "there is no lack for the universe is abundant! or "I let judgements go for they are not real as they rob me of well-being!"
Or simply, "ABUNDANCE!"
Whatever works, whatever tames the beast.
Clearing the Now
Not easy this business of being present. Granted. One thing is to talk about being in the now, another one is being, embodying the moment and being the space. Yes, that is another matter.
Practice, and for a long period of time -says the yoga sutras-, is what will eventually bring us closer, there is no goal, only the theme, practicing being here, as things are, in full acceptance. Practice, here, now. Repeat. It's a theme, it happens now, it's not a goal to wait for in some future. I view it as a way of life right now rather than a distant goal trying to be achieved. (which is only another excuse for unhappiness).
Negative People Out
When it comes to relationships, say the sutras, it is best to be friendly to the friendly, compassionate towards those who suffer, offer goodwill towards the virtuous and indifference towards those who are wicked. (Yoga sutra 1.33).
I like the two extremes that are presented here and in the last two sentences.
No jealousy will ever change anything, if anything it will make us feel smaller. There is no shortage of talent in the universe. Talent is infinite, and certainly thinking ill of others just because they are doing better (or so we tell ourselves) will never open the channels of abundance for us. Thinking small will keep us small. I suspect this is why Hawaiians have a saying: "bless that which you want", so if you want abundance bless those who already have it. Wise.
I also love how this sutra is so down to earth on the wicked part, what about that? The crappy people? They are not really crappy - they have just not gotten out of their own way yet, so we ignore for now, they will come around, or not, in their own time. I suspect this is why a man like Judas hanged himself, he suddenly got it that by betraying another he betrayed himself.
We need enough energy as it is to deal with the mind and nervous system we have, and cannot afford to waste it on meanness, or anonymous comments from the Internet. Energy must be used efficiently.
No Gossip
Gossip is a huge mistake, it is misunderstanding the enormous power of the word. Words are spells and if we top it with upholding to truth, in the most impeccable way, then the word becomes even more powerful, then our word is law, as in: what we say happens. Behold the power of the word. Let's use it well in this moment and for eternity.
I find that the temptation for gossip is huge, I need to keep it in check and often find myself looking for the intention behind, what is it I really want by suggesting/mentioning certain things? What is it I expect to get? is it pleasure? is it feeling that I am more important than others? Better than others? Am I really that insecure? Am I really that cut off from the thread of well-being? Can I come back?
Letting Go Of Complaining And Choosing Miracles Instead
I let go of complaints and choose miracles instead, says Deepak Chopra in one of his hundreds of books, forget which one, but girl! is that a truth.
Ever since I opened to them I have had so many coincidences/miracles come into my life that it sometimes feels like science fiction, the latest being James losing his wedding ring during the Hudson River flooding, under water! On the street! Only to find it again the next morning, outside, and after the river had receded.
How on earth was it still there? How on water maybe? Because I choose miracles, and for the look in his face when he "lost it" I think so did he. That is why.
Telling The Truth
Speaking our own truth is critical in future avoidance of pain, staying true to what our principles are is how we live a peaceful life is how we learn that we can trust ourselves and then by extension trust others and attract trust-worthy people into our circles.
Lies, or deceptions, or saying yes when we mean no, are disrespects to our own light. When we lie we don't lie to "another" when we cheat we don't cheat "another" we cheat ourselves, we short change our own ability to shine in the light, to be whole and true to our own life purpose. Sticking to our truth and intuition is a sure way to be well now and be well in the future as well.
Surrendering
May I be the channel for Your work, may may words be Your words, my my work be Your work, may Thy will be done. I climb out of hell and into heaven on Earth right now. Enough said.
Claudia, greetings. I remember an earlier post you did on this topic and it is one of the reasons I started reading your blog (and how I found James' blog which I also read). In case you haven't heard about it, the state attorneys general for a number of states, including New York and New Jersey, entered into a settlement with a number of the mortgage lenders due to their alleged improper mortgage lending and foreclosure procedures. In many cases, people like you who have undergone foreclosure are entitled to cash settlements but they are time sensitive. Here is a link to a helpful article: http://nationalmortgagesettlement.com/
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this awesome blog and for your sincerity. I look forward to each and every post!
Liz White
Great great post, Claudia. One of my all-time favorites. Will bookmark and re-read it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kamal, and by the way, been using your technique quite a bit this past week, love myself, love myself, love myself, it works!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Claudia. And what a great reminder for me to go deeper into my practice.
ReplyDeleteI love this post, too. Love yourself as if your life depended on it- Because it DOES. How often do I put the comfort of others before my own needs? Is that truly loving myself or is it making myself indispensable in order to feed my own ego: I am needed, I am wanted. It's pretty revelatory stuff, food for thought. If I cannot love and forgive myself (for not being super-perfect-beyond-human) how can I foster peace and love in those around me. Sorry for the ramble. I am new to this site and LOVE it.
ReplyDeleteJenny yes, completely. No need to be sorry, does not feel like ramble to me, sounds very much like truth.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Kamal, who also commented here, is the author of the book I named in the post: "Love YourSelf As If Your Life Depended On It" and he has a very sweet way of telling his story on the book and then how he came back from the lowest point by rewiring himself and loving himself...