There was once an artist who painted daily in her sunny New Mexico studio. Whenever she set out to paint she hang a sign on the front door that said: "Do not come in, I am working, and yes, that means YOU who is reading this, even if you are the mailman, or a neighbor that needs something, or even if you think it does not apply to you, IT DOES"
She also said that if someone did not respect her sign she would show her incisors.
The image stuck with me. I like showing incisors now too. But showing them can be done in a loving way, it does not need to be violent.
As women, or men, or artists, or aspiring yogis, our time in practice is critically important, and changing behavior around family members so that they respect it might be difficult at first but VITAL.
How about sitting the family and clearly telling them that the 20/30/90 minutes that you you use are very important to you, it is your sacred time, and it is also necessary for you so that you can be more present for them later on during the day. Make them understand that it benefits them too. A happy you makes a happy them.
Then, you can also tell them that you will put a sign on the door to remind them, and lock the door.
If they understand they might be more likely to help, AND OF COURSE at first they will/might not respect the sign. They will try to test the limits. That is why locking the door comes in handy.
If that should happen it is important that even if your session is ruined, that you do not, under any circumstances open the door or give in or respond. This is the work of creating a boundary.
It might happen that they still interrupt you once, twice, six, 20 times, but they will eventually be trained in respecting you provided that you do NOT respond.
We humans are creatures of habit and if we do not get the response we expect eventually we re-train our brains to not go seeking for reward where we are sure NOT to get it.
Within a month or so you will be able to enjoy the time you need for the practice you cherish.
And speaking of which, time to hang up my sign, afternoon inversions are up!
Very well in theory, but try hanging a 'do not disturb sign' and locking the door into your practice space when there are young children and or babies needing attention. It doesn't work, you cant expect your whole family to change their life styles to fit in with your practice, especially when they don't practice themselves. To me, that seems quite selfish. You fit your practice around your family as best you can.
ReplyDeleteTrying hanging a sign up and locking the door when you have 2 small children and a tired partner :)
ReplyDeleteI laugh a lot, David, because my 5 year old hears me think "yoga" and automatically needs me. I expect that from him, but the dog knows, too. They're psychic. I wrote my post about how I get why yogis move to the mountains. I tried 4AM for a while but I prefer yoga in the afternoons for some reason--at least when I go running, my husband has The Boy and I have to run--somewhere--no one can attack me while I am balancing in a pose or ruin my inner peace.
ReplyDeleteYou guys bring a very good point which perhaps i should have elaborated on more.
ReplyDeleteObviously i don't have small babies but my point was to enlist families not babies. My guess is perhaps a partner could help.
But i get it sometimes there is no partner around to help because he or she is working and outside of the house.
I commend Dawn on trying for 4AM (even thought she realized she prefers the afternoons). That was one creative way to look at it.
If there is no way to negotiate private time then i would see it as practice being different.
Practice being the person that needs to take care of the baby. These are important yoga practices as well. aBringing up a family is a very important pay of life And the maybe time for more focused yoga practice layer when the kids are older.
I agree just posted another comment elaborating on this point.
ReplyDeleteAll the contents you mentioned in post is too good and can be very useful. I will keep it in mind, thanks for sharing the information keep updating, looking forward for more posts.
ReplyDeleteI invite All to view this video
===>> Yoga for Beginners <<===
This is such a good column - and like finding time on the mat - practicing boundary setting in LIFE is critical. This is such good advice "If
ReplyDeletethat should happen it is important that even if your session is ruined,
that you do not, under any circumstances open the door or give in or
respond. This is the work of creating a boundary." The act of NOT engaging will reinforce the boundary. Off the mat and on the mat- express your limits and then live by them. No repeated explanation is necessary. Claudia - I admire you.
So, the day after I read this post, I was in downward dog, because Declan was safely in front of a half-hour cartoon. "Mommy, you're doing YOGA." He jumped on my back. Then he scooted under my downward dog. Then he tried to give me extra weight in the chataranga. And he ran circles around my tree pose... he sniffs it out. That brings me to my post about why yogis go to the mountains. But I think I feel another yoga post coming...
ReplyDeleteMy early morning is really designed for a couple hours of writing. I drink too much coffee and write then. I haven't really wanted to do yoga at that time, so I try to do yoga later. Maybe I need some life to cause tension before I yoga it away? I always enjoyed running and lifting in the AM, but yoga in the evening. It could just be the fear of waking up the boy, you're right.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI really agree with u Jake this really
fantastic