Vipassana

I booked myself on a Vipassana 10 day meditation retreat near Chicago, starting July 1st.

They are full, or, as they put it, they have a "long waiting list". Nevertheless and to my advantage, I am both fluent in English and have no problem if they let me know at the last minute if or when an opening pops up. So it might happen.

Lately when I meditate I have gotten used to keeping a little notebook nearby. For some reason it is while I sit that my brigthest ideas and directions show up in the screen of my mind. Sometimes they are just simple to do things that need to be done, sometimes downright inspiring ideas.

This is what bothers me about Vipassana: upon entering, one must surrender cell phones, computers, beepers, i-pods, i-phones and anything that may remotely start with an "i", as well as notebooks, pens. There is nothing to read or jot down.

I experimented on meditation this morning, what if I could not write things. The impulse to jot down is so big, so intense, what if I cannot satisfy it, will I feel like I am waisting time? like I am letting go of important ideas? I do, that is exactly what I feel, and it is uncomfortable.

A part of me really wants to do this Vipassana. I heard stories from friends who tell me that after the breakdown period on day 3 to 5, they experience something much deeper, much more profound, and that it directs them into whatever is important and valid.

The other part of me wants to keep jotting down ideas.

I am leaving it up to the universe wether this is the time for me to do it or not, I should find out soon.