7 Suggestions For Letting Go Of Worrying

In the same way we don't get rid of a strong addiction like alcohol, drugs, or love right away, releasing the constant worry requires more than a decision to let go, it needs a set up of new circumstances, a bold notice of old habits, the building of new ones, a support system.

Why is letting go of worry important?  Because for a mind to be focused we need to let go of the energy-drainers and black holes it gets sucked into.  Efficiency is key in the yogi's life and aren't we all aspiring yogis after all?

I admit that in the heat of a worry I can't remember all the suggestions below, let alone implement them.  But as soon as the waters settle, I've found them to be powerful guide-posts that I use to identify what is happening, take a step back, breathe deeper,  and make some sense of it all:

NOTICING

I start by noticing how many times a day I worry.  I don't do anything, I just notice.  What am I worrying about?  What time of the day is it?  Does the same worry come up again and again?    Some may think that this could be wrong as "whatever we focus on expands" but it is important to do it because the only way to change is to first realize there is a problem and, mind you, the extent of its magnitude.

The mind operates by trying desperately to protect the status quo and not change whatever it thinks works... Worrying gives her something to do, to feel like she [the mind] is in control.

If we are not aware of the frequency and tenacity of our worry our chances to curtail it or even be aware of them is much lower.  So notice, keep a diary, work on it for a few days.

Yogic tip:  Observe your breath, when in the heat of worrying the breathing is likely to be shorter and faster and to come from the ceiling of the chest.  Making a conscious effort to breathe with the lower belly might help!

Remember that yogis measure life in the amount of breaths rather than years.

Turtles are masters of longevity.  Their secret?
They breathe very slow (or not at all?)

ADMITTING

Sometimes I feel that worrying gives me a sense of importance, of having something worth fighting for.  This is obviously a trap.  I need to take a step back and "admit" that I get something out of the it, maybe I even enjoy it.

Maybe it is a sense of life being an "adventure that needs figuring out", maybe the "drama makes things exciting", maybe without the worrying I "would not be the same person".

Maybe our identities are totally surrounded and immersed in the doing and the fighting, and without it we could potentially be... happy.

Yogic Tip: Seeing things as they are equals being present for what is.  Being brutally honest with ourselves goes with "satya" or "truthfulness", one of the main yogic principles that allows us to be real and let go of what the mind makes up.

IDENTIFY THE ONE-LINER THAT KEEPS PLAYING LIKE A BROKEN TAPE RECORDER

Notice that worrying comes in one-liners:

• "I will be homeless"
• "I won't have any money"
• "I will be a failure"
• "He will not love me"
• "I will be hated"

We think these things while eating a meal, while on the way home to a nice fluffy bed, or while waiting in line. They usually creep in at quiet moments.

If you have the mental room to think these thoughts then the result of those lines are NOT actually happening in your life right now.

You are just thinking them.  They are not happening.  Right now you are OK.  You are OK, right now.

Yogic tip: To come back to the NOW, to be present again, try thinking this: "I am now thinking below my neck".  Put the mind at the shoulders.  Feel the body. Stop the stream of words.  Increase the length of time in which you do this.  Once the mind descends into the body there is no more dialogue... it works sometimes!

FINDING THE TRADE OFF

List how you feel when you think these things.  Think of the first one-liner of worry that you have, is it "I would go broke"?

Is this your drug (ooops!) I mean "thought" of choice?  Is it "I will be homeless if...." Which one is it?  Now list 10 things you get out of thinking that, for example:

I get to feel sorry for myself
I get to enjoy drama
I feel I exist because I have problems
I get sympathetic ears
I have something to say
My story is so big (I got fired, have 20 kids to feed) I am important
I have something to say

What is the trade off?  What are you selling your soul for?  Could you let it go?

Don't answer that.

Wonder, is there a way to replace the feeling of importance that we get in self-pity with simple happiness in this moment?

Don't answer that.  Don't ever answer that.  Just keep dwelling on the question.

Yogic Tip:  "Who Am I"? Is the ultimate question.  One that has no answer because any answer comes only from the mind.  Might be difficult to ask that at a time of worry, but when more peaceful times arrive this is a good question to ponder on.  Never answer, just listen.

TELLNG IT NEXT!

Begin to notice the start of every worry.  They are easy to identify, they start with a horrible thought and a strong sensation somewhere in the body, not a pleasant one.  Tell it "NEXT!"  so that it will move on.  Do this one thought at the time.  Make an effort to train yourself in moving on to the next thought.

This does not mean you do not take action on what needs to be done, this only means you clear your head from worry thinking and divert it into what actions are useful now.

Yogic tip:  This is what some techniques of meditation call for, you focus on the breath and when thoughts appear you gently bring the attention back to the breathing.

In the middle of worrying that might not be possible, so the word "NEXT" will likely yield more appropriate results.

TAKING ACTION WHERE POSSIBLE

Identity what you CAN do about the situation you have now.  Take small actions if possible to move in a new direction.  Tell the worry that is real (there may be some that are) that you are acting on it, working towards solving the issues.  Do one little thing a day, but move in the direction of a worry-free environment.

Yogic Tip:  Be in the world, just not of it.

HAVING A SUPPORT SYSTEM

As a suggestion, try to let go of people who are negative in your life.  Identify the leaches, those people who "bring you down", or "are down on you", or "never seem to support you", or those people you feel drained after meeting.

Make it a priority to surround ourselves with positive people who can help us when we are having a weak moment and remind us of all the beautiful things we have (like being alive, healthy, having eyes to read, having food on the table) is key.

Yogic Tip: Say yes to help. Asking for it opens us up to humility, to a bigger understanding of our undercurrent line of human-ness.

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What do you do to curtail worry and return to the present?