Claudia, un millon de gracias por escribir este post. Yo tengo una tia que se tomo una sobredosis de pastillas, y aunque sobrevivio y nunca mas repitio la jugada, el danio que le hizo a su familia dura para siempre - mi madre todavia sufre mucho. Un abrazo desde Londres.
V, gracias por tu comentario, entiendo lo de tu tia, interesante nosotros en nuestra familia tambien tuvimos una tia que hizo eso... me pregunto si es contagioso... hay que tener cuidado con todos los otros familiares... el suicidio es terrible, afecta mucho a todos... Dile a tu mama que le mando un abrazo fuerte, que la entiendo, y a ti tambien... que necesitamos fuerza para seguir, que tengamos fe. Un gran abrazo.
James, I know, it is a difficult read... thanks for your comment
Real Estate Lady, thank you, appreciate your kind words
Lila, I am sorry about your lost too, I know how hard it is, I am with you in spirit, I am sending you love and light, :-)
Sad. But you've learned much it seems. My family also has been hit with suicide, not recently, (my mother's brother and my great grandfather on the same side of the family), but the ripples have come down to all of us.
You don't mention any history of mental illness, but if your mother was suffering with depression or bipolar depression, you might find it rewarding to read "An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Redfield Jamison. My own mother committed suicide (pills+drowning) in 2000 after decades of battling bipolar. I had a horrible time trying to understand and accept her action. After reading Jamison's insider's perspective, my understanding was lifted to a new plane. Better still, much love and compassion was recovered.
My heart goes out to you. Wishing you peace and love.
Dear Claudia, I am very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a beautiful woman. It must have been tough for you not knowing the reason why your mother did this. I am glad yoga has helped you and that you have forgiven your mother. Thank your for sharing this story with us, showing your love and strengths, and teaching us a lesson too.
Claudia, I'm very sorry to hear about your having to go through such a great loss at such a young age. And I'm also grateful that you have taken the time and found the strength to share your story with us.
I sometimes wonder if dreams are a way for us to connect with those whom we have no way to connect with in our waking life (including those who have already left us). Maybe the next time you encounter your mother in your dream, she will tell you that she's doing yoga wherever she is now :-)
Nathan, I am sorry to hear, I know exactly what you mean about the ripples effect
@Scott, thank you, I actually recently read "An Unquiet Mind", and it did bring some clarity, thank you for suggesting. She did indeed have a story of depression... so you are quite right.
@D, thank you
@Boodiba, yes, I know what you mean, I debated even publishing it, cause it still hurts for me, but I think it is important to talk about these things, hopefully it might fall in the right hands, I do hope people in situatios like this get help! :-) thanks for your comment, hope work went well
Thank you YYogini, and yes, it was one of the most confusing things ever... I am very happy to have stepped on the path of yoga, I am grateful every day, I appreciate your kind words :-)
@Nobel, thank you for saying that, you always find a way to put a smile in my face! yes, she better be doing yoga otherwise if I find her in a dream I will tell her!!! or else she will have to deal with the super siddhis of the yogis of earth! hee hee hee
Ah Claudia, my deepest sympathies. Sadly, I know a tiny bit how you feel because even though my family member didn't 'succeed' the attempt still haunts us and we carry that kernel of fear with us always. Thank you for posting.
Loo, I understand, and I guess it is not even proper to say you are lucky at the non-successfull attempt, it is such a serious issue!, I hope this person recovered, I wish him or her well... thanks for commenting
Brooks, Thank you for your words, I appreciate you saying something even if you feel there is no adequate thing... I guess there never is in these cases, it is good to know there is community and that an open dialogue can be established... for whatever comes to mind, I appreciate your words
So sorry you had to experience this. It is great though that you have the courage to share this. Going through this right now w a sibling who doesn't seem the point in living...feeling guilty and self indulgent about being in Mysore, because he feels I have deserted him. Didn't realize he felt that way. It has been very confusing for me and don't quite know anymore what I can possibly do for him. He has not been communicating w me for almost a month now. Short of moving in with him permanently - I honestly don't know what to do. Was looking for you during conference on Sunday, but couldn't find you and then "poof"...you were gone... Be well....
I admire ur boldness for sharing openly this most painful event in ur life .I know it is definitely tough to forget this painful incident .Being a yoga practitioner urself I am sure u have found ways to recover from this . I will do my best to strengthen u through my prayers .Take Care .
Claudia, When I saw posted link/title(via twits)from J.A I had to reserve a time set aside for reading.Given the title it had to be a time that allowed me to weep over your words as you courageously devulge your life story. Through your mother,who spirit surrounds you, you have embraced the truest meaning of life. Peace to you and may your dreams always be 'Beautiful'! With deepest sincerity, ~Sooz
Oh Claudia, was doing Ok 'til I hit 'email me' : ) You amaze me with your warmth and tenderness. And that picture, she was beautiful and your father dashing.
@Anonymous, sorry we did not get to meet in Mysore, the situation you describe sounds difficult, I can relate to how disorienting it must be for you. I have found solace in meetings of ALANON, to learn to deal with close family members who are sick and hopefully not get sick in the process but I also understand i do not know all the details, however I did want to mention that. I wish you well, to you and your sibling, may peace find its way, meay healing come! :-)
@Zzen 321 maybe you are right, maybe she did, I guess I will never know, I appreciate your kind words.
@Krishna thank you for offering prayers I feel blessed to hear from you, appreciate your kindness.
Sooz, thanks for taking the time, and thanks for the wish of beautiful dreams :-) may we all have them!
Grimmly, thank you, yes she was a very beautiful woman, and my dad very handsome... they were one cute coule you could say that.... I feel wamr from your words, thank you
Claudia, thank you for this post. Very brave and very loving, very wise. Deepest sympathy to you, from someone who knows what it is to live with and love a parent with mental illness. You're such a beautiful soul! hugs from here xx
JSF, thank you for your sympathy and understanding, living and loving a parent with a mental illness is indeed a big challenge. I feel the warmth of your kind words, thank for writting
Claudia, un millon de gracias por escribir este post. Yo tengo una tia que se tomo una sobredosis de pastillas, y aunque sobrevivio y nunca mas repitio la jugada, el danio que le hizo a su familia dura para siempre - mi madre todavia sufre mucho. Un abrazo desde Londres.
ReplyDeleteMade me cry when I first read it
ReplyDeleteClaudia....... your soul is beautiful. My condolences on your losses. <3
ReplyDeletei cry when i read you, because i am crying my mother in law, she died on 31th janurary and i miss her somuch because i loved her
ReplyDeleteV, gracias por tu comentario, entiendo lo de tu tia, interesante nosotros en nuestra familia tambien tuvimos una tia que hizo eso... me pregunto si es contagioso... hay que tener cuidado con todos los otros familiares... el suicidio es terrible, afecta mucho a todos... Dile a tu mama que le mando un abrazo fuerte, que la entiendo, y a ti tambien... que necesitamos fuerza para seguir, que tengamos fe. Un gran abrazo.
ReplyDeleteJames, I know, it is a difficult read... thanks for your comment
Real Estate Lady, thank you, appreciate your kind words
Lila, I am sorry about your lost too, I know how hard it is, I am with you in spirit, I am sending you love and light, :-)
Claudia, que claridad de mente. Muy luchada y merecida por lo que veo. Thanks for sharing your life experiences to help others.
ReplyDeleteSad. But you've learned much it seems. My family also has been hit with suicide, not recently, (my mother's brother and my great grandfather on the same side of the family), but the ripples have come down to all of us.
ReplyDeleteYou don't mention any history of mental illness, but if your mother was suffering with depression or bipolar depression, you might find it rewarding to read "An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Redfield Jamison. My own mother committed suicide (pills+drowning) in 2000 after decades of battling bipolar. I had a horrible time trying to understand and accept her action. After reading Jamison's insider's perspective, my understanding was lifted to a new plane. Better still, much love and compassion was recovered.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you. Wishing you peace and love.
I can feel your pain and strength reading this. Thank you for sharing Claudia, it's an empowering post.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you had to go through this! I had no idea. I can't read too closely though because I'm at work and am an easy crier. Very poignant.
ReplyDeleteDear Claudia, I am very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a beautiful woman. It must have been tough for you not knowing the reason why your mother did this. I am glad yoga has helped you and that you have forgiven your mother. Thank your for sharing this story with us, showing your love and strengths, and teaching us a lesson too.
ReplyDeleteClaudia, I'm very sorry to hear about your having to go through such a great loss at such a young age. And I'm also grateful that you have taken the time and found the strength to share your story with us.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wonder if dreams are a way for us to connect with those whom we have no way to connect with in our waking life (including those who have already left us). Maybe the next time you encounter your mother in your dream, she will tell you that she's doing yoga wherever she is now :-)
Sereneflavor, thank you
ReplyDeleteNathan, I am sorry to hear, I know exactly what you mean about the ripples effect
@Scott, thank you, I actually recently read "An Unquiet Mind", and it did bring some clarity, thank you for suggesting. She did indeed have a story of depression... so you are quite right.
@D, thank you
@Boodiba, yes, I know what you mean, I debated even publishing it, cause it still hurts for me, but I think it is important to talk about these things, hopefully it might fall in the right hands, I do hope people in situatios like this get help! :-) thanks for your comment, hope work went well
Thank you YYogini, and yes, it was one of the most confusing things ever... I am very happy to have stepped on the path of yoga, I am grateful every day, I appreciate your kind words :-)
@Nobel, thank you for saying that, you always find a way to put a smile in my face! yes, she better be doing yoga otherwise if I find her in a dream I will tell her!!! or else she will have to deal with the super siddhis of the yogis of earth! hee hee hee
Ah Claudia, my deepest sympathies. Sadly, I know a tiny bit how you feel because even though my family member didn't 'succeed' the attempt still haunts us and we carry that kernel of fear with us always. Thank you for posting.
ReplyDeleteThis is powerful stuff, Claudia! Thanks for sharing. I don't have the adequate thing to say.
ReplyDeleteLoo, I understand, and I guess it is not even proper to say you are lucky at the non-successfull attempt, it is such a serious issue!, I hope this person recovered, I wish him or her well... thanks for commenting
ReplyDeleteBrooks, Thank you for your words, I appreciate you saying something even if you feel there is no adequate thing... I guess there never is in these cases, it is good to know there is community and that an open dialogue can be established... for whatever comes to mind, I appreciate your words
So sorry you had to experience this. It is great though that you have the courage to share this. Going through this right now w a sibling who doesn't seem the point in living...feeling guilty and self indulgent about being in Mysore, because he feels I have deserted him. Didn't realize he felt that way. It has been very confusing for me and don't quite know anymore what I can possibly do for him. He has not been communicating w me for almost a month now. Short of moving in with him permanently - I honestly don't know what to do.
ReplyDeleteWas looking for you during conference on Sunday, but couldn't find you and then "poof"...you were gone...
Be well....
I wanted to express my sympathies. And thanks for reaching out to those in pain / depression.
ReplyDeleteI think your mother cared too much ...
Claudia
ReplyDeleteI admire ur boldness for sharing openly this most painful event in ur life .I know it is definitely tough to forget this painful incident .Being a yoga practitioner urself I am sure u have found ways to recover from this . I will do my best to strengthen u through my prayers .Take Care .
Claudia,
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw posted link/title(via twits)from J.A I had to reserve a time set aside for reading.Given the title it had to be a time that allowed me to weep over your words as you courageously devulge your life story. Through your mother,who spirit surrounds you, you have embraced the truest meaning of life.
Peace to you and may your dreams always be 'Beautiful'!
With deepest sincerity,
~Sooz
Oh Claudia, was doing Ok 'til I hit 'email me' : ) You amaze me with your warmth and tenderness. And that picture, she was beautiful and your father dashing.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous, sorry we did not get to meet in Mysore, the situation you describe sounds difficult, I can relate to how disorienting it must be for you. I have found solace in meetings of ALANON, to learn to deal with close family members who are sick and hopefully not get sick in the process but I also understand i do not know all the details, however I did want to mention that. I wish you well, to you and your sibling, may peace find its way, meay healing come! :-)
ReplyDelete@Zzen 321 maybe you are right, maybe she did, I guess I will never know, I appreciate your kind words.
@Krishna thank you for offering prayers I feel blessed to hear from you, appreciate your kindness.
Sooz, thanks for taking the time, and thanks for the wish of beautiful dreams :-) may we all have them!
Grimmly, thank you, yes she was a very beautiful woman, and my dad very handsome... they were one cute coule you could say that.... I feel wamr from your words, thank you
Claudia, thank you for this post. Very brave and very loving, very wise. Deepest sympathy to you, from someone who knows what it is to live with and love a parent with mental illness. You're such a beautiful soul! hugs from here xx
ReplyDeleteJSF, thank you for your sympathy and understanding, living and loving a parent with a mental illness is indeed a big challenge. I feel the warmth of your kind words, thank for writting
ReplyDelete